What is it about parenting that makes everyone go all Judgey McJudge?
Well, not everyone, but more specifically, me.
No, in fact, everyone. Everyone does this.
OK I admit I was quite judgemental beforehand, in a “well that outfit isn’t very suitable for work now, is it?” kind of way, but with motherhood this tendency seems to have gone stratospheric.
Take our weekly swimming class for example; it’s a veritable showcase of all the things I can get judgey about: four year olds with dummies, baby girls clad in head to toe pink outfits, babies wearing jewellery. The list is endless. And on Wednesday at Baby Club I almost had to slap myself when I started getting all judgey over a three week old guzzling a huge bottle of formula. For all I know, it might not have even been formula. It could have been condensed milk for all I knew, but the point is why should I care? It’s blatantly NONE OF MY BUSINESS. I think I am turning into this woman.
Yes I am getting a bit obsessed with this blog. I think it appeals to my judgemental side. I quite liked it while it was banging on about things that I already do and Why They Are The Best Way of Doing Things and Everyone Else Is Wrong, e.g. breastfeeding, co-sleeping and hating on all baby books ever written, but my new found love (and smugness) quickly turned to disappointment when a post appeared which detailed why “married parents are the best parents.”
Clearly I am not, after all, doing everything right.
Or maybe I should just take the words of someone who calls themselves “The Alpha Parent” and illustrates their blog with a picture of a mother with a halo, Virgin Mary style, apparently with no trace of irony, with a pinch of salt. What’s that halo about anyway? If anyone is like the Virgin Mary, clearly it’s me. I bet the Alpha Parent didn’t have an immaculate conception. Perhaps I should write a post about why parents who have immaculate conceptions are the best parents, as clearly all this judgemental motherhood is just all of us desperately trying to justify our own personal life choices, whether they be marriage, breast/formula feeding, babywearing, baby led weaning or being Gina Ford. Or maybe we should just all accept that there are a million and one acceptable ways of doing things, and we should all just be nice to each other. What a revolutionary idea. At least that way the Daily Mail would definitely go out of business.
8 Comments Add yours
I've only read a couple of posts but that Alpha Parent blog is awful! Calling parents who bottle feed their baby "failed breastfeeders" is terrible!
I know. I think the moniker "Alpha Parent" should have been a warning sign!
That blog is a p***-take surely ?? I used to judge, then I had kids and realised it was really hard and everyones just doing what they need to in order to get through the day relatively unscathed!
I literally have no idea. I haven’t looked at it in ages. Last time I checked it had suddenly stopped and wasn’t being updated, so the author just disappeared, so maybe it was just a parody. Who knows?
Single or married it does not make you a better parent. Such a stupid idea. I think we are doing what s best for our babies and there are million good ways f doing it. There is no receipt for motherhood. You are doing a good job. And don’t worry about judging. We all do it. I think the minute we give birth there is this side of ours waking up and making us see things our way or no way
I agree. The whole of that blog I read seemed to be one woman’s overly detailed argument for why her life choices/circumstances were better than everyone else’s. A bit sad really.
I totally agree with you – we who are single parents are totally superior since we have clearly had immaculate births (since the perfect woman is one who doesn’t have sex) But we, unlike our judgmental counterparts (ie those who engage in sex) can be magnanimous and perhaps admit that there may be alternate ways of living that are acceptable 😉 Love your piece and totally agree!
EXACTLY. Who do these people think they are, with their lascivious sex-having ways? Far better to be Holy Mothers of Virtue.