Ode to American Apparel

There are no words. I keep hearing the words.  An article here, an article there.  Usually in the Guardian and written by somebody who clearly squeezed themselves into a disco pant on multiple occasions in 2009, even whilst simultaneously hating the brand and all that it stood for, and how in hindsight everything seemed so…

Decorating Piglet’s Room With Arty Apple

You might have heard that I recently moved house. I think everyone has heard about the Terribly Long House Move; the move that has taken half a year or more with all the hanging about waiting for this chain and that chain, and oh-my-God-isn’t-buying-a-house-the-longest-thing-ever.  People I have never spoken to at work keep making enquiries…

Homeowning Dream Turns Into Crack in Ceiling Horror

My mother is livid. “YOU DON’T NEED A KING SIZE BED,” she thunders.  “NO ONE NEEDS A KING SIZED BED!” I calmly point out, quite tactfully I think, that king sized beds might have been considered wildly hedonistic luxuries back in the 1970s, the sort of thing that Rod Stewart might have had in his gold penthouse,…

Twenty Questions I Have Asked Myself Whilst Watching Kids’ TV

Children’s television.  Not a day goes past when I don’t wonder whether I have ruined my beloved child for life by plonking him in front of In The Night Garden at ten weeks old in a futile attempt to persuade him that going to beddy-bye-byes before 11pm was a really good idea. Let’s just say…

Dear Men of Instagram: NO

I thought I had seen it all. I thought I had endured the worst that the dating world had to offer.  I’d been on every dating website going.  I speed dated, I met people through MySpace (remember MySpace!).  Hell,  I even went to one of those hideous “lock and key” parties that were all the…

Will 2017 be the year I finally make it as a superstar blogger?

I can picture the scene already.  Single Mum Speaks, superstar blogger, waving to the adoring masses from a glittery plinth.  Being invited onto the breakfast shows of the commercial television networks and arguing on a sofa with Katie Hopkins whilst Holly Willoughby stands by, doing her Sympathetic Worried Face.  They say visualise your goals and…

#SchoolsOut linky: Bumper Christmas Edition!

Christmas, I have noticed these past two years, seems to be a time when bloggers slow down, switch off, and concentrate on packing their Instagram feeds full of cosy snapshots of family life-board games, paper hats and long walks in the countryside with children and dogs and festive knitwear.  In short, it’s the essence of hygge….

The Terrible Twos: This is Normal, Right?

My mother is convinced that Piglet is afflicted with the developmental curse generally known as the Terrible Twos. I am going to assume that in ordinary parlance this means that toddlers are expected to have a lot of tantrums.  Now tantrums I can handle.  I think I understand them.  I definitely read some stuff on…

Ignoring the News: Sensible Plan or Foolhardy and Immoral?

Ladies and gentlemen, I have a new obsession.  And it’s not good for my mental health. I literally cannot stop reading the Guardian on my phone. The Guardian has not, it has to be said, had a good 2016.  First David Bowie died, and then everything else the Guardian holds dear disappeared into a giant…

Parenting: The Olden Days vs Now

Is it normal to have some sort of imposter syndrome about being a parent? Sometimes I’m not sure I can even say I engage in any actual parenting, since I seem to spend most of my time either at work away from my son, or being micro-managed by my mother who seems to think that…