Diary of a Bedtime

“You were sleeping through by his age!” My mother’s words, uttered at regular intervals since my son turned three months old, are reaching a fever pitch. My son is almost three.  He is still not “sleeping through.” OK, that is a slight lie.  He has slept through, at least once, but to do so on…

Sorry Not Sorry: A Never-Ending Story of Guilt

This week, my A level students and I have been discussing guilt. As we debate over whether or not using someone else’s mug in the common room is a matter for a guilty conscience, my own mind keeps returning to the question of parental guilt.  I feel guilt on a daily basis.  Some of it, like…

Parenting Judgement: I’m All Over It

As a parent, there are many things to fear. Potential abduction, getting lost at the beach and disappearing forever, the dawn of World War III, threadworms…. And those are just the things that you worry about happening to your child. There are also things that you worry are going to happen to YOU, and I don’t…

I Am Not A Strict Parent.

Before having my son, I didn’t give much thought to what kind of parent I wanted to be.  However, there was one thing I knew for certain.  I was going to be Strict. Nine years of being a secondary school teacher, and observing countless children-and therefore the long-term consequences of the actions of countless parents-and I…

Can I interest anyone in a flat? Anyone?

Well the plan to “spend some quality time with Piglet” over half term appears to have fallen flat. Piglet is currently out with Granny, socialising with her friends as usual, while I do boring things like try to sell my flat and shell out dizzying sums of money for the privilege.  In fact, much of…

Piglet Vs. Literature: Part 2

Piglet seems to have developed a rather disturbing new habit.  Several times this week I have caught him banging his head-apparently deliberately-on his cot or my bed.  Upon consulting Dr Google about this distressing new hobby I have learned the following: Piglet has above average intelligence Head banging is totally normal Piglet must be autistic…

Haters Gonna Hate

Ladies and gentlemen, I have been well and truly JUDGED. And I say to thee, Ye Olde Judgey McJudgeys of Wembley, if you are thinking that someone has made a terrible parenting faux pas, unless it is quite clear that the parenting in question constitutes actual child abuse, please keep your thoughts to yourself. Yesterday…

Note to self: Stop reading parenting blogs (that aren’t this one, obvs.)

What is it about parenting that makes everyone go all Judgey McJudge? Well, not everyone, but more specifically, me. No, in fact, everyone.  Everyone does this. OK I admit I was quite judgemental beforehand, in a “well that outfit isn’t very suitable for work now, is it?” kind of way, but with motherhood this tendency seems to have…

Who is even allowed to use the birth centre?

Just returned from a quick excursion to the toilet to find Piglet slumped in his bouncy chair, hanging off the end.  Perhaps the time has come to start strapping him in (what’s that sound?  The sound of social services being called at the fact that I have so far failed to do this).  Either that…

The Maternal Guilt Starts Here

Well actually it started three months ago, when the wee one was born.  And there is never a moment when you are truly safe.  There’s always something waiting round the corner that could be going wrong.  A case in point being the one illustrated below. On Friday I was happily bleating down the phone to…