Welcome to the World of Mothers

“Welcome to the World of Mothers,” said no one, ever. But yet I was a newcomer in the World of Mothers, and the other Mothers knew it.  With tales of breastfeeding woes and terrible births, of reassuring smiles and messages in the dead of night to tell me I was doing OK, the World of…

Parenting Judgement: I’m All Over It

As a parent, there are many things to fear. Potential abduction, getting lost at the beach and disappearing forever, the dawn of World War III, threadworms…. And those are just the things that you worry about happening to your child. There are also things that you worry are going to happen to YOU, and I don’t…

Piglet’s Birthday Party: A Review

OK, so I am not actually reviewing Piglet’s birthday, but rest assured that if I did, it would be a 10/10 from me. It felt as though Piglet had already been two years old for several months, since I have been telling people that he is “almost two” for ages.  I have also been fretting…

I Am Not A Strict Parent.

Before having my son, I didn’t give much thought to what kind of parent I wanted to be.  However, there was one thing I knew for certain.  I was going to be Strict. Nine years of being a secondary school teacher, and observing countless children-and therefore the long-term consequences of the actions of countless parents-and I…

Motherhood: The Best Job in the World

“I’m not interested in other people’s boring lives!” my mother exclaims, as she turns from the computer screen where she has just been comparing interest rates on MoneySupermarket.com. It is Saturday afternoon, and Mother is making her feelings clear on the small matter of blogging, which she considers to be marginally less interesting than comparing…

Thomas and his Friends, the Patriarchy

Today Piglet and I went to the library. The reason for this was that I had a book on helping child language development which was due back (having been barely touched.  I have resigned myself to the fact that Piglet’s vocabulary is likely to consist of no more than “ball” and “A-DA” for some time…

Partying it Up In Wembers

I will miss Wembley.  Where else, with the possible exception of One Direction’s house (do they all live in the same house?  I sort of imagine they do, except the one who left, obvs.) can you walk out of your flat, take the baby for a walk and find yourself in the middle of a…

Piglet Vs. Literature: Part 2

Piglet seems to have developed a rather disturbing new habit.  Several times this week I have caught him banging his head-apparently deliberately-on his cot or my bed.  Upon consulting Dr Google about this distressing new hobby I have learned the following: Piglet has above average intelligence Head banging is totally normal Piglet must be autistic…

The Middle Way

And so another trip to the Baby Weighing Clinic draws to a close. A trip in which I received a literal pat on the back from the health visitor for maintaining Piglet’s centile, no less. And then a metaphorical slap on the wrist for admitting that I sometimes (OK, maybe every day) feed him Organix…