Why is it that every time I go out, no matter how many times I have fed Piglet (and no matter how many times he has tried to escape from the Hide-the-Boob Tent), and even if I have fed him immediately before leaving wherever I am, by the time he gets on the train home…
Month: September 2014
The Desperate State of Shopping with No Money
So today I was so desperate to get out of the house that I sat in Starbucks for an hour sipping a latte. A LATTE. This is very bad on the money-saving front. That £2.25 would have bought three days worth of food in the halal shop. At least I didn’t buy any cake. This…
How to avoid using dangerous substances such as Calpol
So I am trying to write this while Piglet naps on my chest (look at me! Multi-tasking uber-mother!) He had his first set of immunisations this morning. This was relatively stress free. Apparently some women are so distressed by the sight of a huge (relative to size of baby) needle being stuck in their baby’s…
The Single Mother’s Guide to Saving Money
Today Piglet and I decided to brave a trip to Westfield. Well, I decided to brave it. Piglet didn’t have much choice. I’m sure that had he been given a choice, he would have chosen not to be whizzed around in the pram looking for the family room (where there were apparently some fabled pods…
Many Babies Look Like Piglet: Is This More Than Just Coincidence?
NEWSFLASH! NEWSFLASH! Piglet has twenty-one brothers and sisters. Or something like that. Obvs. this is not my doing. I barely have Piglet, let alone twenty-one other hidden children squirrelled away somewhere. The reason I know this is because I registered Piglet’s birth with the sperm bank, and although they have so far not managed to…
One of the Few Ways My Life is (Still) Similar to Sex and the City
What does one do with a seven week old baby? In Piglet’s case, the answer is sit him in his bouncy chair with a comforter and a mobile for company (not a mobile as in phone, obviously. Not letting him loose on that just yet. Or like, ever. Watch me eat my words on that…
Piglet, Seven Weeks, Shows Obscene Lack of Interest in Becoming Serious Intellectual
Piglet is asleep and I am seizing a moment to write. He is asleep in his baby bouncer. I am not convinced that this is the best place for me to implement my new bedtime routine, but I am frankly too scared to put him in his cot in the bedroom in case Something Terrible…
Multiple Attempts to Write This Blog All End in Abject Failure
Almost seven weeks in, and I think I’m doing a pretty good job. Piglet is wearing a vest personally designed by one of my friends (i.e. drawn on) at my baby shower, and having a “kick about” on the floor, something that my mother, a.k.a. the “Wind Whisperer,” recommends so that he can “get his…