Piglet’s Top Ten Thoughts

Sat here with Piglet lying next to me on the bed while I type, as it is the only way I can stop him from yelling at me.  He is, as ever, showing absolutely zero signs of being ready to go to bed. OK now he is trying to kick the laptop off me.  Sometimes…

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Note to self: Stop reading parenting blogs (that aren’t this one, obvs.)

What is it about parenting that makes everyone go all Judgey McJudge? Well, not everyone, but more specifically, me. No, in fact, everyone.  Everyone does this. OK I admit I was quite judgemental beforehand, in a “well that outfit isn’t very suitable for work now, is it?” kind of way, but with motherhood this tendency seems to have…

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THANKS AGAIN TFL.

Most.  Unproductive.  Day.  Ever. Piglet woke up this morning at 7.30am, which I understand from my fellow parentals is usually described as “late.”  For me, this is obscenely early, and I spent over an hour whimpering “Go back to sleep” whilst being enthusiastically hit in the face by an increasingly perky baby.  Once I finally…

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Uproar at Gender Segregation Taking Place on UK High Street

Just come back from a visit to the health visitor where, in typical fashion, Piglet did an enormous wee on the baby weighing scales and I was told off for not taking vitamin supplements, despite the fact that (as I protested to the health visitor) they have been repeatedly shown to be useless.  Better just…

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More Hair-Raising Adventures on the London Underground

Travelling anywhere with a baby has begun to resemble a particularly farcical episode of Miranda. Today, for example, Piglet and I (plus my mother) travelled from Bristol to London on the train (Piglet’s first trip on the “big train.”  He was fairly non-plussed, despite my mother’s running commentary on the journey with all vehicles played…

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Piglet Goes to Church

The trouble with Christmas is that every Tom, Dick and Harry that you may or may not be related to wants to spread the festive cheer by having their say about your parenting skills. Take yesterday, for example.  Mother and I had been out with Piglet, running errands, and on the way home passed the…

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I Impress the NHS with my Great Knowledge of Medical Matters

Just taken Piglet for his BCG vaccination. I don’t think this was as entertaining for Piglet as it was for me, as he screamed blue murder throughout the experience.  However, it was necessary, warned the nurse, as TB is “everywhere.” “Ah,” she said, leafing through Piglet’s red book, “you have just moved here.” “Well, not…

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Household Emergency: TV Not Working

How does one overcome this dilemma without making one look as though one is incapable of dealing with electrical malfunction? Last night I made a decision.  I decided that I was spending too much time checking the internet on my phone instead of looking after baby, so I decided that from now on I would…

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Who is even allowed to use the birth centre?

Just returned from a quick excursion to the toilet to find Piglet slumped in his bouncy chair, hanging off the end.  Perhaps the time has come to start strapping him in (what’s that sound?  The sound of social services being called at the fact that I have so far failed to do this).  Either that…

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The Curse of the Mummy Clothes

Not a terribly productive day.  Currently procrastinating cleaning the flat and using Piglet’s current slumbers as an excuse.  We cannot have him being woken up by the vacuum cleaner after all. In fact, today’s activities consisted of: going downstairs to check my mailbox, baking chocolate cookies and going to the bank.  As I am currently…

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