The Ten Most Middle Class Things Ever

Once, whilst visiting a popular picnic spot with my brother, he felt the need to pause a conversation mid-sentence and gasp in awe at a seemingly very ordinary group of people making their way across the immaculate lawn.  An army of green canvas folding chairs, wicker picnic hampers and Prosecco bottles crossed in front of…

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When You Just Can’t Think of Anything to Write

I once read an interview with the great Caitlin Moran, where she said that she found it easier to write when she had a number of different writing projects to complete than when she was writing one 800 word column per week. Now I am not about to compare myself to Caitlin Moran (OK, I…

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A Little Visit From The Parenting Police

M’am, We dropped in to see you earlier, but it appears that you weren’t in.  Probably out working, I imagine.  Shouldn’t you be at home like a proper mother?  Oh no of course, we forgot, you are a single mother.  We wouldn’t want the likes of you eating up the welfare budget with your fecklessness…

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What I Have Learned in One Week of House Hunting

As the old adage goes, it’s better to have the worst house in a good street, than the best house in a bad street. Your garden might be full of what the council terms “bulky waste,” and your doors may be falling off their hinges, but you’ll have the best schools, the best parks, the best…

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Boys and their Toys

I had high hopes for my son. I imagined that he would be the next John Stuart Mill. Studying the classical languages by the age of three, and a master of the ancient Greek philosophers by eight; most importantly he would be a visionary, a man ahead of his time, a frontrunner in the fight…

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Ten Weird Things About Having a Newborn

Ah, the newborn stage. Fluffy booties, scratch mittens and squidgy babies sleeping with their arms above their heads.  Congratulation cards, helium balloons and fussing relatives. Blind panic, sleepless nights and soreness in areas you never knew you had. We all know about these things, the hallmarks of a new baby.  We all know it’s not…

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The Grass Is Always Greener

One of the main perks of being a working parent is the cherished opportunity to talk to other adults about things other than teething and infant sleeping patterns.  I call this “water cooler conversation.” This morning’s water cooler conversation, so called because it took place next to an actual water cooler-albeit one that is not…

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Single Women: Bitter and Lonely?

Miss Havisham has a lot to answer for.  Ever since the 1860s-and probably before-the stereotype of an unmarried woman of a certain age has been one of pity, scorn and the assumption of a certain type of jealous bitterness. How this relates to my son having a tantrum may at present be unclear.  However, as anyone…

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The Lonely Life of a Blogger

Alone she sits, in her immaculate office, the bright sunlight reflecting off the glossy white surfaces. She is a professional writer, tapping out little snippets of wisdom to share with a waiting world. Her home is her office, and she has become used to switching off all distractions and retreating into her own world, the…

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Going to a Blogger Conference?

If there is one picture that sums up my experience with blogging conferences so far, let it be this one. That’s what blogging conferences are for, right?  An opportunity to revisit one’s pre-motherhood wardrobe, designer stilts included.  After all, there be no baby in the vicinity. If you are looking for tips on attending a blogging…

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