Giving Myself a Mummy Makeover

It’s Mother’s Day!  Yay!  The one day of the year when we are allowed to lie in bed all day being fanned with giant feathery fans by our children, while they behave perfectly, bring us an endless selection of dainty morsels on silver trays and present us with giant homemade cards Pinterest would be jealous of.

Or something like that, anyway.

One thing I keep reading about is the oft-quoted idea that mummy martyrdom has gone out of style.  Nowadays we are supposed to put ourselves first.

“Happy mother, happy baby!” they cry, whilst reminding guilt-ridden new mums that twenty years down the line, no one is going to walk into their child’s graduation ceremony yelling “I KNEW that one was formula fed!  They only got a 2:2!  Begone, to the scrapheap of life O one who was failed in infancy!”

So it was with this in mind that I decided today that I was going to start putting myself first.

Not in the sense of being a selfish and unfeeling harpy who thinks only of their own happiness.  Oh no, that would not go down well on Mother’s Day.  Putting yourself first is all well and good, but woe betide the mother who says it out loud.  There will be no giant feathery fan for you young lady, and you can forget about those cheery daffodils or being offered a free Prosecco in Pizza Express.

I mean, put myself first in the sense of FINALLY WEAR SOME DECENT CLOTHES AND PUT SOME MAKE UP ON.

For my Mother’s Day did not consist of being fanned by a grateful Piglet, eternally beholden to his wondrous mother for giving birth to him, meaning that never again would she enjoy the joy of a flat stomach without working at it (something that she cannot presently be bothered to do), but enjoying a perfectly pleasant lunch at home with the family, and a trip to church (I am a committed agnostic, but I have to say I was almost converted after they brought out free toast, and I’m pretty sure Piglet has already pledged his soul to Jesus).

“Nice to see you’ve made an effort today, for Mother’s Day,” my brother quipped sarcastically, while I schlepped round the kitchen, cooking my Mother’s Day lunch (Piglet’s job, obvs, but I let him off due to not being tall enough to reach the stove).  This was shortly after said brother had very nearly ruined my entire Mother’s Day experience by saying that he was obliged to be nice to me as I was “technically” a Mother, almost causing me to yell “IVF MOTHERS ARE PEOPLE TOO, YOU RATBAG!” before he quantified it by explaining that all he meant by that was that I am not his mother, and therefore he is under no actual obligation to be nice to me just because it’s Mother’s Day.

He was right.  I had made zero effort.  My sole piece of effort that morning had consisted in finding a jumper big enough to cover my leggings-clad posterior.  Obviously I blame the Church of England for this.  If they didn’t have their services so early (10.30am!  On a Sunday!) then I would have had more time to make myself look presentable.  However, it is an inescapable fact that since becoming a mother my standards of physical presentation have not so much declined as disappeared completely.

I used to think about what I wore.  I thought about it a lot.  I used to be stylish.  This photo was on a Polish street style website, goddamit.  A photo of MEEEEE!

street style
Let’s just say this was a long time ago.

And this was a casual shopping outfit.  Not only have I worn those heels (all £450 worth of them) a grand total of once since Piglet was born (I took along a plastic bag with a spare pair of flats in.  Motherhood has made me prepared.  And turned me into a bag lady carting plastic bags about on nights out) but for the first five months of Piglet’s life I didn’t even brush my hair.  The hairdresser nearly had a heart attack when I finally got round to rocking up at the salon, hair shredded from my frantic oh-no-someone-is-going-to-look-at-it emergency brushing attempt.

I had one of those brushing attempts again today, having neglected my hair (again) for several weeks.

That is it.  I am getting it cut, and sorting it out.  No more greasy ponytail, no more unkempt eyebrows and no more having to hide my Mum Parka at work events because I can’t find my smart work-appropriate coat from Reiss.  I am having a Mummy Makeover.

I’ll let you know how I get on.

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53 thoughts on “Giving Myself a Mummy Makeover”

  1. Love a good hat…just never quite know when exactly is the right occasion to wear one? That is a pretty impressive cameo style shot – brick wall and everything!
    I have also discovered that anything remotely nice to wear ends up majorly impractical when wrestling with two small people.
    Skinny jeans it is then. Again.

    1. Me too, but it always seems to be too windy, or otherwise just impractical. I have the same problem, leggings rule the roost. I just need to think of something better to wear with them than a tatty old T-shirt.

  2. Goodness me you weren’t just stylish you were a fashion icon. Love the boots. I can’t fathom how you could walk in them but they look good. Love the Kate Middleton hair. Anyway, I have figured that the most important item in my wardrobe is a nice scarf which can be carefully positioned to cover the snot on my left shoulder, or my right shoulder or my chest when Cygnet when in for a hug – to be fair, I asked him to “give Mummy a cuddle for Mother’s Day – that only took two hours of asking before he relented.

    1. Haha thank you! The boots are amazing. I wore them to Blogfest back in November actually, as it was the only baby free day I had had where I wasn’t at work. It was immensely satisfying in the morning but by the end of the day I was hobbling quite a bit. Even when they were my regular shoe of choice I used to fall over all the time, so I had to stop wearing them when I was pregnant because it was too dangerous! I know that feeling of being literally covered in snot all the time-and worse!

  3. That is a fab photo!! I love the hat. Not sure I could walk in those shoes though, even before I had kids and started to live in Converse (which my friend said to me was a sign of a mid-life crisis, which was nice ha ha!). Good luck 🙂 #fartglitter x

  4. I feel like it is me that has typed this post! I have neglected myself since my son was born nearly four years ago and I had my daughter last year. I have decided to finally do something for myself and have my hair cut this weekend! I am so excited! I hope you feel better about yourself soon, it is hard when your a mum and have no time for yourself #Anythinggoes

  5. Wow, you really look fab in that pic! I am totally on board with flats in a bag though, I’m rubbish in heels. I definitely think you need to take care of yourself when you’re a mama. It feels so good to treat yourself to a bit of pampering now and again. Thanks for linking up with us, look forward to seeing the makeover results next time! #bigpinklink

  6. LOOK at those shoes! LOVE that! You look fab! I look forward to seeing your makeover! I think I have said I will have a makeover when I am finally “un-tired”…LOL #bigpinklink

  7. What a stunning outfit! Check you out and everything! If this was a photo of me I would have it enlarged to life size and just wear that. All day. Every day!

    Ps. The “toast” bit made me snort out loud. Brilliant!!

    Dawn x

    1. Thank you! And as for the toast, Piglet is literally converted. He was so desperate to get his hands on that toast we had to ambush the poor children who were passing it around.

  8. Oh man, I’m so with you on this. I was so into fashion and make up before Marianna – but pretty much from the moment I fell pregnant just the smell of make up would make me sick, as did all my hair products. Then since she was born I feel accomplished if I’ve washed my hair! I really need to give myself some TLC.

    I love that outfit shot – the jacket is amazing! #FridayFrivolity

    1. Thank you-I don’t even know where that jacket is now! I have the exact same problem with washing my hair. It feels like the height of all luxury!

  9. I totally hear you! My eldest is 4& a half, youngest 11 weeks, my hair is the main thing which shocks people from the past, I was obsessed with my hair, I took perfect care of it, dyed well, cut nicely, brushed 100’s of times a day.. Now it’s a greasy ponytail which stays up day & night untill I get 5 minutes to attempt to run a brush through it. Even dry shampoo is pointless, it would just form a white powdery mess atop the tangles & grease.

    You look amazing in the picture by the way & I also love the shoes

    1. Thank you! I cannot imagine the depths to which my formerly fashion-conscious self would plummet if I had more than one child. You are one brave lady. I am seriously considering a mum-cut for my hair. Short back and sides, maybe.

    1. That’s always the way isn’t it-suddenly I get more excited about buying new clothes for Piglet than buying them for myself! Thanks for commenting. x

  10. Hilarious!! And I LOVE your outfit in that photo… I’m such a hat girl, and you’re rockin’ it! ;P

    Totally agree, mommy martyrdom is NOT healthy for you or for baby… keep us posted on the mommy makeover! 🙂

    So glad you linked up at #FridayFrivolity — pinning and tweeting!

    1. Thank you 🙂 I too love a hat-although the problem with the one in that photo is it blows away if there’s even the slightest breeze. Thanks for hosting and commenting.

  11. Wow! Look at you! You are so fashionable! I love your jacket. It is so elegant yet funky! I know exactly what you mean. I haven’t have my haircut in years! Now I am in Thailand and I actually afford to do a makeover! Hahaha Enjoy your makeover day! & Happy Be-lated Mother’s Day too! Xx Thank you so much for linking up with us on #FabFridayPost

    1. My mother has been singing the praises of the mum cut ever since Piglet popped out. So far I have resisted, but the time could be nigh!

  12. Please do let us know how you get along, as this is me – always wore smart, styled clothes, 4inch heels at all times, never went out without make up and hair done. ALWAYS wore contacts. Now it’s leggings, flat shoes, glasses, minimal-no make up, undone hair. I make an effort very occasionally!

    Great picture! #KCACOLS

  13. I’m so curious now!! I really would like to see your new look!! That photo looks great! You look very stylish although I’m not sure how were you able to be in those shoes!! OMG, The look really tall. I love that hat too. And you are right it is now time to think a little bit about us too. I would love a make over too! 😉 Thanks so much for sharing this at #KCACOLS. I would love to see you again on Sunday! 🙂 x

    1. That is an old photo, sadly. I don’t get to wear those shoes very often now. I used to topple over in them all the time, so once I got pregnant with Piglet I didn’t dare wear them anymore! Thanks for hosting and commenting. x

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