Fitting It All In

The yoga teacher is disappointed in us, I’m sure. Every week she asks us the same question.  Are we doing our yoga at home?  Just a fifteen minute practice in the mornings?  Hell, we can even do it in bed if we want to.  Yoga really is that flexible (if you’ll excuse the pun) and…

Bath, Book, Bed? I Should Be So Lucky

The evening routine is not something I have ever really got the hang of.  I am not a routine person.  Mornings are for rushing out of the door barely dressed and with a toddler still mewling at the outrage of being torn from the comforting catatonic vigil of back to back Paw Patrol and Fireman…

How I Turned Blogging into an Incredibly Lucrative Career Without Knowing the Difference Between Your and You’re-And Now You Can Too!

You all know me.  It’s Me, the Blogging Guru.  I had a terrible time after my first child was born.  It was hard getting to grips with just being Mum as opposed to an Academy Award-nominated actress (Best Make Up, 1998), and I was struggling to cope. So I started blogging.  Let’s face it, life…

Head Lice: When Speciesism Is Definitely The Best Option

I like to think that I’m pretty good to animals.  I’m vegetarian, although not vegan (one word: CHEESE) and although I would never dream of being preachy about it (OK guys, I’m being preachy.  EVERYONE BECOME VEGETARIAN YOU FLESH EATING HEATHENS), I like to think I’m doing my bit for the environment, but I am no…

Feminism: The Label We Should Wear With Pride

“Miss,” the boy whispered to me during a Year 9 lesson.  “That Miss Smith,*  she’s a feminist, you know.  She’s always talking about feminism.  And….” (his voice dropped to a whisper) “we think she might be a LESBIAN!” Ah yes, feminism, the word spoken of in hushed tones by teenage boys everywhere.  There was a…

Why Co-Sleeping is Right for Me

As I write, Piglet is asleep next to me while I tap away at the laptop in the blue light that I fear will one day be the new tobacco, slowly killing us all by interfering with our natural rhythms, in our new house, in the king size bed that my mother fears is going to…

Ode to American Apparel

There are no words. I keep hearing the words.  An article here, an article there.  Usually in the Guardian and written by somebody who clearly squeezed themselves into a disco pant on multiple occasions in 2009, even whilst simultaneously hating the brand and all that it stood for, and how in hindsight everything seemed so…

Decorating Piglet’s Room With Arty Apple

You might have heard that I recently moved house. I think everyone has heard about the Terribly Long House Move; the move that has taken half a year or more with all the hanging about waiting for this chain and that chain, and oh-my-God-isn’t-buying-a-house-the-longest-thing-ever.  People I have never spoken to at work keep making enquiries…

Twenty Questions I Have Asked Myself Whilst Watching Kids’ TV

Children’s television.  Not a day goes past when I don’t wonder whether I have ruined my beloved child for life by plonking him in front of In The Night Garden at ten weeks old in a futile attempt to persuade him that going to beddy-bye-byes before 11pm was a really good idea. Let’s just say…

Dear Men of Instagram: NO

I thought I had seen it all. I thought I had endured the worst that the dating world had to offer.  I’d been on every dating website going.  I speed dated, I met people through MySpace (remember MySpace!).  Hell,  I even went to one of those hideous “lock and key” parties that were all the…