What are my Goals?

Today I had to have the phrase “goals” explained to me.

In case you were wondering, apparently there are now a whole host of expressions which include this word, which have absolutely nothing to do with football.

I put a picture of Wembley Stadium on this post anyway.  Good ol’ Wembers.  A tenuous link to my own personal goals, but a link nonetheless, even if only in terms of semantics.

In this new-fangled parlance, “goals” is a word of appreciation, to be uttered upon sight of Kim Kardashian’s house, or Kylie Jenner’s latest aspirational make up look.  In other words, it is now expected that our goals include the wish to be a member of the extended Kardashian-Jenner clan, or to have expertly co-ordinated our outfits for that day with those of our friends (SQUAD GOALS).

This got me thinking two things.  Firstly, that the English language has moved on considerably from my own youth, when we thought we were achingly cool after retrieving the word “groovy” from the proverbial dustbin of the 1970s, only to have it tossed firmly back inside that dustbin after it was uttered by Austin Powers; and secondly, what are my own GOALS?

Whilst I can cringe at the thought of the word “groovy” and feel gratitude for the lack of mobile phone cameras during my teen years in the 1990s, safe in the knowledge that had I not just admitted it to the entire World Wide Web (if we are still allowed to call it that) on this blog, no one would ever know that I used to routinely refer to my corduroy flares with such terminology, keeping up with my own GOALS, squad or otherwise, is a less straightforward task.

One of my Goals, of course, is to develop my blog.  How I am going to go about this is another matter; my mother having implied earlier today that if I continue to work at the rate I am currently doing I might end up dead from some sort of Wicked Stress-Related Ailment, which is unfortunate as I am clearly still not doing enough.  My TOTS ranking, which I am trying very hard not to care about, as obviously I am completely unfazed by such trivialities and not at all desperate to be loved, has dropped from 700 or so, to 900 or something.  UNACCEPTABLE.

But what are my other Goals?  I seem to have drawn a blank.  To buy a house?  To learn to drive? To raise Piglet as a clued-up, right-on feminist boy?

And should I have accomplished these things already?  Malala Yousafzai is barely eighteen and has a Nobel Peace Prize on the mantelpiece.  My greatest achievement to date is winning the 1990 34th Brownies Hula Hooping Competition.  It’s like when I turned thirty-three, and started comparing myself to Jesus*, next to whom my influence on the world seemed fairly modest.

Perhaps it’s time I set myself some Goals.

*To be fair, if he really was the Son of God, I’d argue that he had a bit of an unfair advantage.



A Cornish Mum
Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday
My Kid Doesn't Poop Rainbows
Two Tiny Hands

38 Comments Add yours

  1. You’ve won a hula-hooping competition!? You are my hero.
    Ahh goals, yes I imagined by now (31) I would have at least changed the world or something. Apparently there’s still time! Good luck planning your goals x

  2. Min says:

    Ah yes. I like to think that I can still hoop with the best of them, but I imagine my skills are somewhat rusty these days. At least I have my memories.

  3. Mrs Tubbs says:

    I completely overdid the goals thing on my blog and am hoping that no one will notice … Or ask how I’m doing. Good luck with coming up with some goals that work for you

    1. Min says:

      Haha, I will have to come and take a look! Thanks for commenting.x

  4. Goals are something I want to set myself as I am a stickler for organisation! #picknmix xx

    1. Min says:

      I’m organised in some ways but not in others. I do have some blogging goals, which I thought about sharing in the post, but eventually decided not to as it just didn’t feel right to make them public. Thanks for commenting! x

  5. Sarah says:

    I saw a good football goal today. Blog goals are at a minimum though :/ #KCACOLS

    1. Min says:

      I have my blog goals-I’m just not sure when they’ll be fulfilled!

  6. ShoeboxofM says:

    I’m not a fan of sport based terms either!

    I’m on the Tots 100000 or so but I put that down to my subject area rather than the quality of my writing (I hope). I’m still narked one of my best performing posts was a throw away number on Paw Patrol!


    1. Min says:

      What’s Paw Patrol? I must be one of the few people who hasn’t read it. I’ll have to have a look!

  7. Fern says:

    It drives me mad when I’m sat with my sister (she’s 14) and something comes on tv & she suddenly shouts “omg, goals!” Seriously?! You’ve seen some celeb/actress/z Lister with something & suddenly that’s one of your life goals. I know language changes but there really are some random terms being thrown around now.

    1. Min says:

      That just sums it all up I think! The term has been rather trivialised!

  8. The Pramshed says:

    Goals, I always have great ambitions at setting goals and then never manage or barely achieve them. Goals are one of those things that are present everywhere, and like you I have goals for my blog but never time to do them along with all the blog admin and posts to be written. I set myself a few achievable goals at the start of each month, and then at the end of the month look back to see what I have achieved. It’s a good way of tracking it, especially when you get to the last few days of the month and you try to pack it all in to a few days. Good luck on your goal setting. Claire x #KCACOLS

    1. Min says:

      Thank you. That’s a good plan. I have a few actual blog goals in my head, but am not great at articulating them or writing them down in any shape or form. There is so much admin!

  9. This is interesting. I am wondering if the GOALS to which you refer are as in ‘achievements intentions’ or are they something completely different. Having found myself proudly finding out the real meaning of BAE at the weekend. I am now wondering if I should turn my attention to GOALS. Does is stand for something in its new guise? Hoola hooping in the old style brownie uniform is not to be sniffed at. Especially if you managed to keep your beret on!! #KCACOLS

    1. Min says:

      I literally have no idea. I spend my life being taught new phrases by teenagers. I also recently learned the meaning of BAE, and Netflix and chill. I am like, totes down with Da Kidz. Is that what I’m supposed to say? Thanks for commenting!

  10. Wow you can hula hoop! Well done – I could never do that! I have always had a goal in life to learn to swim, but at the age of 33 still have not achieved it yet! xx

  11. Rachel Bustin says:

    Well done for winning a hula hooping competition! I have always had a goal of learning to swim, but here I am at 33 and still cannot swim! xx

    1. Min says:

      Haha, thank you! Maybe this year will be the year for swimming?

  12. I do think the term has definitely become more popular and I do get asked what my goals are. I think its more in the blogging world than real life. I have hopes and dreams rather than goals. Thanks for linking to #PickNMix

    1. Min says:

      Hopes and dreams is a nice term. Thanks for commenting. x

  13. Popping back from #justanotherlinky. Thanks for linking up xx

  14. Goals? Does making it through the day count? Surviving tantrums? Surviving the toddler and allowing him to survive under my care? That’s all I’m capable of achieving right this minute thanks. Good luck with yours- will be interested to read them.


    1. Min says:

      I probably shouldn’t be so hard on myself. Piglet and I have both lived to see another day. I was at work though so I can’t take any credit for these sorts of things.

  15. Talya says:

    Um….my goal is living one day to the next. Beyond that….*tumbleweed*. Sorry not much use there eh? Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub lovely x

    1. Min says:

      Thank you for hosting and commenting! x

  16. Maria says:

    Wow well done on the hula hooping Min!! I’d never really thought about the theme “goals” before although I do definitely hear it more in the blogging community. I’m not good with setting goals I’m more a lets see what happens kinda person!

    I think a lot of of don’t get the Tots Ranking – you can work really hard and increase your followed everywhere and still go down in the chart. I’ve given up trying to second guess it!!

    Thank you for linking up to # KCACOLS and I hope to see you back again on Sunday.

    1. Min says:

      I was Blog of the Day on Mumsnet on New Year’s Eve and I think that made my stats go up for a while, then when that effect inevitably wore off they went down again. Oh well, got to keep trying!

  17. Hula hooping competition – that is cool! While it is important to set goals, I think it is okay to sometimes just rest your oars and float for a bit. Enjoy the ride, look at the water and smell the breeze. You may just need the little break before starting on another new brilliant goal. Good luck!

    1. Min says:

      Thanks. Yes, that’s very true. I’m always trying to do a million things and none of them particularly well! Thanks for commenting.

  18. Honestly I wish I could win the Hula hooping competition. That would be awesome! To be honestly, I don’t really have a “goal” per se. All I know is that I work my ass off in whatever I do. I know sometimes it can take a back seat when ranking bit you in the ass. lol! But I try not to worry too much about that. My priority now is to have a decent earning so I can buy a house for us to live in – how do I do that is another set of “goals” entirely… This goal thing is beginning to be really exhausting now. lol! I know how you feel. Bug Hugs. xx Thanks again Min for linking up with us on #FabFridayPost

    1. Min says:

      Thank you for hosting and commenting. I was disappointed but not entirely surprised about the TOTS ranking going down, as I had a post back in December/January that did particularly well and I think that boosted my stats for a while, but then they sadly went down. Got to keep trying!

  19. Ahahahaha you had me laughing out loud! And yes, I think that maybe if you tweaked your comparison points a little, you might feel better about yourself… ;P

    Wondering, have you submitted any of your posts to Scary Mommy? Or maybe Huffington Post’s parenting blog (I assume they have one… a friend of mine with a very new blog had several posts accepted by them in the last few months which is why they come to mind)? I think you’re much wittier and more entertaining than a lot of what I’ve come across there… and that would be a good way to grow your blog / extend your reach! You definitely deserve a wide following!! 😉

    1. Min says:

      Thank you. Yes, I think I am aiming a bit high with my comparisons there, but it all adds to the fun. Thank you for your lovely comments-that’s a real confidence boost. I hadn’t considered Scary Mommy so I will look into that. I have tried Huffington Post but I just submitted via a form and I think there’s a better way of doing it so need to try again.

  20. Karen says:

    Goals, hopes, dreams, aspirations, achievements, ambitions, targets, challenges… whatever you call it I find it’s good to hold onto something to work to! The blog goals can be endless, oh, yes they are endless, something I’ve been struggling with. I’ve decided to not really care for a bit and to let the blog grow organically for a while! Make sure you get some “goals” in for the Piglet! If you ever make a list, I’d love to see it! #Abrandnewday

    1. Min says:

      Thinking about it, perhaps I should get him to write a guest post about his own goals. I’m pretty sure they would all include exclusive use of the sofa as a car park for tiny cars. Thanks for hosting and commenting.

  21. Katie says:

    I am totally clueless about what my goals are because my life direction keeps changing on me so it is hard to have goals inside. Getting dressed before midday should be one though I think!!


    1. Min says:

      Haha, not at all! What’s wrong with wearing pyjamas all day? It’s a bona fide look, I think.

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