If I ever won an Oscar (which I will do, one day, even though I have shown zero interest in acting since the age of thirteen, when I was cast in a production of Oliver Twist and forced to sing a brief but excruciating solo, consisting purely of the words “ripe, strawberries ripe” and my brothers and cousins came along and justifiably laughed at my performance. I mean, Brenda Blethyn didn’t start acting until she was about 50, right? There’s still time! I could be in a Mike Leigh kitchen sink drama, right? Right? I could do those Vera Drake-style scenes that consist entirely of crying). Well, in the unlikely even of my winning an Oscar, or an Emmy (what do you mean Mad Men has finished and I’ll never be Don’s third wife?) then my speech would go something like this:
“I would like to thank my mum, my brothers, my dad, God-rest-his-soul, my extended family, and my mum again. And especially my mum. Did I mention I would like to thank my mum?”
My mother is amazing. She literally is. They say that behind every great man is a great woman, but I say behind every great woman is a great mother. And I am a great woman, right?
Well, OK, I am someone with ambitions to be a great woman. OK, so I’m no Malala (no surname necessary, like Madonna). I could never be that brave, but perhaps I could be JK Rowling? Er, when I finally get around to writing that book. Or I could be Sheryl Sandberg. I mean, I have a Facebook account.
If it weren’t for my mother, I would be forking out £700 plus per month on childcare.
If it weren’t for my mother, I would have to leave work at 3pm every day to collect Piglet from said childcare, and hence would not be able to do my job.
If it weren’t for my mother, I would probably have had some sort of argh the room isn’t precisely eighteen degrees centigrade the baby is going to die argh, argh, argh, postnatal breakdown.
OK, so I would have managed, like I did for the year when I wasn’t living with my mother, but it would be a whole lot harder, so to the woman who thinks I don’t respect her because she wears purple tights and hates cooking THANK YOU MUM I DO LOVE YOU REALLY.
Hope that didn’t sound too soppy. I hate soppy stuff. Argh I am becoming soft in my old age.
*Please like my blog now Mum*
13 Comments Add yours
What a lovely post thanks for linking to the binkylinky
Such a lovely post. I’m sure Mum knows how much you appreciate her. 🙂 Thank you for linking up with me. #FabFridayPost x
Hi, so very true. My mum is amazing too. I think it takes a while, and probably becoming a mother yourself, to admit that your mother is your role model. I was going to say except for the purple tights, but then I have a maroon pair and that’s not so different.
Oh, and when are you going to write your book? If read it!
Thanks Pen! I keep saying I’m going to write a book when I have time, but I know I’m never going to actually “have time” and am just going to have to fit it in somehow.
I reckon I need a few more years of parenting experience before I can write a book about it though. I’m a novice!
Sorry, that should have read i’d read it. ?
Your mum sounds fantastic, your theatrical career prospects possibly less so! Mine’s already promised me one day a week childcare in the event that I get pregnant soon… granny care is priceless (though £700/month saving sounds pretty great too!).
Ella (iva #BabyBrainMonday)
Haha, I do still have to pay for nursery twice a week, but that’s small fry compared with five days. Hopefully Piglet will have a lovely bond with her as he gets older too.
Aww hun, such a lovely post! I love my mummy too – she’s my rock! what would we do without them hey!? Thanks for linking up to #Babybrainmonday x
Thanks Harps. Yes, she is pretty fantastic!
Lol newsflash: you’re soppy. And er, should I tell you I played the Artful Dodger in Oliver years ago at school and I totally rocked at it? Or is that very un British of me and did I just have a braggy Kardashian moment? Don’t answer that.
My mum’s amazing too. We don’t live in the same country but she is.
Thanks for linking to #BabyBrainMonday
Oh no, I was so trying not to be soppy! I love the Kardashian braggy moment. Bring it on! Unfortunately I did not rock as Ripe Strawberries Ripe Girl, but if I had I would be shouting it from the rooftops.
haha *please like my blog now mum” what is it with mums and blogs?? Lovely post though – where would we be without our mums? #babybrainmonday
I’m not sure she likes it yet. I’ll have to keep trying I think! Thank you for commenting.