Urgh.  Lounging on the sofa like a bloated whale.  And every now and again my belly goes all hard and pointy, and I am told that this may be a Braxton Hicks contraction.  I had thought it was just the baby moving around.  Still, hopefully this means that by the time I finally go into labour my body will know what it’s doing.

Anyway, just because I am a glutton for punishment, today I went to Topshop (my haul: a pair of leggings and a T-shirt) and American Apparel, where I almost wept as I yet again realised I will probably never again be slim enough to wear a crop top, and had to settle for something called a “tent dress.”

And on top of all this, I feel sick.  In fact, last night I woke up at 3am and actually was sick.  I have become disgusting.  This better be worth it.