GET THIS BABY OUT OF HERE!

Baby still not here and predictably I am going crazy checking the Internets every five minutes for flimsy “reassurance” (which is not very reassuring when sites about “stillbirth” come up). My mother is going frantic and worrying, and people are ringing up every five minutes asking if I’ve had the baby yet.  Meanwhile every time…

Hurry Up Or I’m Going To Lose the Sweepstake

No the baby has still not emerged.  And tomorrow is 15th July, which is the date I predicted in the Baby Shower Sweepstake (no financial prizes, just the joy of winning), so it looks like I am going to have to take some drastic action to make the baby be born by the end of…

Baby Still Not Here. I Feel Sick. Probably Because it’s my Birthday

Summary of my day so far:  Got up, realised it was my birthday, threw up, returned to bed. That pretty much says it all.  Thirty-four just has such a great ring to it. Just exactly what last night’s mushroom omelette and chips were still doing in my system ten hours after they were eaten is…

Raspberry Leaf Tea and Other Examples of Unnecessary Scare-Mongering

Today I had three tasks to perform. 1.) Write a birth plan.2.) Put the co-sleeper up in my bedroom.3.) Tidy the flat. I have failed at all three. I did at least attempt number two, but it appears to be beyond my capabilities to piece together any kind of furniture in a secure manner befitting…

Confusion: Too many choices….

Now I appreciate that this sounds like an odd thing to say, and also as if I m moaning (again) but sitting on this sofa really isn’t the pleasant and comfortable experience that DFS intended it to be. This of course is not the fault of the sofa, which is, under normal circumstances, very comfortable…

Bloated Whale

Urgh.  Lounging on the sofa like a bloated whale.  And every now and again my belly goes all hard and pointy, and I am told that this may be a Braxton Hicks contraction.  I had thought it was just the baby moving around.  Still, hopefully this means that by the time I finally go into…

Suddenly inhabiting weird parallel universe consisting entirely of Bugaboo Bees

Well the World Cup has now started and I missed my first England World Cup game since about 1982 simply because I was too tired to stay up and watch it.  Now watching France vs Honduras and although it’s only 9pm and I had a nap earlier I am already yawning profusely. Ooh France have…

So it turns out you can have such a thing as too much protein

Had an appointment with the midwife today.  This was the first appointment I have had where things did not go entirely according to plan. I had, for a start, completely forgotten to do my urine sample, and had to try to squeeze it all out in the delightful conditions of the toilet in the GP’s…

On the hunt for a Vivienne Westwood birthing dress

Today I am mostly panicking about: baby positions. That’s right, it turns out that there is an optimum position for Baby to be lying in for the most desirable, Call the Midwife-style, two pushes and they’re out form of childbirth which I am hoping to emulate. And this, despite my jubilation at being told at…

Newsflash: Women’s Breasts Apparently Not Designed For Men

Hallelujah!  Apparently the baby is “probably head down, although the head hasn’t dropped into the pelvis yet.” Presumably this means he’s already starting to gear up for birth. Obviously do not want baby to be born immediately, but at least he isn’t in a weird position.  At least not at the moment (probably shouldn’t speak…