The Desperate State of Shopping with No Money

So today I was so desperate to get out of the house that I sat in Starbucks for an hour sipping a latte. A LATTE.  This is very bad on the money-saving front.  That £2.25 would have bought three days worth of food in the halal shop.  At least I didn’t buy any cake.  This…

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How to avoid using dangerous substances such as Calpol

So I am trying to write this while Piglet naps on my chest (look at me!  Multi-tasking uber-mother!) He had his first set of immunisations this morning.  This was relatively stress free.  Apparently some women are so distressed by the sight of a huge (relative to size of baby) needle being stuck in their baby’s…

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The Single Mother’s Guide to Saving Money

Today Piglet and I decided to brave a trip to Westfield. Well, I decided to brave it.  Piglet didn’t have much choice.  I’m sure that had he been given a choice, he would have chosen not to be whizzed around in the pram looking for the family room (where there were apparently some fabled pods…

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Many Babies Look Like Piglet: Is This More Than Just Coincidence?

NEWSFLASH!  NEWSFLASH! Piglet has twenty-one brothers and sisters. Or something like that. Obvs. this is not my doing.  I barely have Piglet, let alone twenty-one other hidden children squirrelled away somewhere. The reason I know this is because I registered Piglet’s birth with the sperm bank, and although they have so far not managed to…

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One of the Few Ways My Life is (Still) Similar to Sex and the City

What does one do with a seven week old baby? In Piglet’s case, the answer is sit him in his bouncy chair with a comforter and a mobile for company (not a mobile as in phone, obviously.  Not letting him loose on that just yet.  Or like, ever.  Watch me eat my words on that…

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Piglet, Seven Weeks, Shows Obscene Lack of Interest in Becoming Serious Intellectual

Piglet is asleep and I am seizing a moment to write. He is asleep in his baby bouncer.  I am not convinced that this is the best place for me to implement my new bedtime routine, but I am frankly too scared to put him in his cot in the bedroom in case Something Terrible…

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Multiple Attempts to Write This Blog All End in Abject Failure

Almost seven weeks in, and I think I’m doing a pretty good job. Piglet is wearing a vest personally designed by one of my friends (i.e. drawn on) at my baby shower, and having a “kick about” on the floor, something that my mother, a.k.a. the “Wind Whisperer,” recommends so that he can “get his…

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Subsistence Parenting

Yes I admit it.  Guilty as charged. Yes I did put the baby in the car seat to sleep while I had my lunch.  And we weren’t in a car.  And (voice drops to a barely audible whisper) I didn’t even fasten the straps. Surely God will strike me down with a lightning bolt.  Or…

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Piglet: On First Name Terms with the NHS

Well yesterday’s post (the Secret Weapon, by the way, was about to be revealed as a baby sling.  Regrettably it turned out not to be such a vote-winner later that evening, when Piglet bawled non-stop for ten minutes in it, and I took it off, thinking maybe it was too tight and crushing his little…

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He’s Wailing, He’s Wailing Again…

Well, he is here.  And you know who I mean by “He.” The promised messiah. In fact, it’s not far off.  I have started singing Away in a Manger to him at night and switching the name “Jesus” for His name.  To all extents and purposes, he will henceforth be known as Piglet, the moniker…

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