Today’s most pressing questions: 1.) By having a baby with a sperm donor, am I inadvertently ruining the lives of the next generation, who will be destined to resent me and be forever miserable, and 2.) WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH WHEN I EAT???? With regard to the second one, I am currently lying…
Category: Pregnancy
How Not To Balls Up Your Baby’s Life Forever. Apparently.
Today is a momentous day. Yes, today a stranger offered me his seat on the tube. I am now officially a big fat pregnant woman, make no mistake. And I am loving it. The baby appears to enjoy putting his feet up by my belly button, so my new favourite game, as discovered last night,…
When does the nesting instinct kick in?
Yet again I am engaged in the deadly habit of procrastination. Why is it that every time the holidays roll around I fool myself into thinking that if I do one productive thing per day-just one-then the entire day has been a success? Today’s “productive task” consisted of emailing some photos that I had promised…
Eagerly anticipating the birth of the Messiah
20 week scan tomorrow. Obviously this is terrifying, and I will not go into the list of horrific ailments that could be detected at this point, all of which I have googled multiple times. Anyway, my bump is continuing to grow at a somewhat alarming rate, and now I even have backache (hopefully this is…
“But what would happen, Miss, if the baby had a small head and huge shoulders, and it got stuck?”
I think I can now confirm (sort of. Almost. I mean, I think this is what I’m feeling) that the Wee One is moving around in there. Like, officially. In fact, I’m pretty sure s/he just punched me three times in the last few seconds. It is SO WEIRD! And now the cat is out…
First Foray into Topshop Maternity Ends in Disaster at Shocking Realisation that Big Clothes are Boring
Urgghhh. I have quite possibly the World’s Worst Cold. Literally, it is so bad that on Friday I even had to take a day off work. With a cold. It’s the sort of cold that one normally only gets on holiday, at some point towards the end, after ten whole days and nights of drinking…
Cruel and Unusual Symptoms of Pregnancy
I’m back! Already! After just one day! Obviously this means that one of my hundreds of New Year’s Resolutions is to write more often. The other main one is to clean the flat but I still haven’t done that. I’m using morning sickness as an excuse, especially since I threw up three times this morning…
The Anti-Cravings
I have not written on here for ages. This is because a) I am too scared in case everything goes wrong andb) I have been very lazy (blame the pregnancy tiredness). Anyway, I am now 11 weeks and still running to the loo every five minutes to check that Blastocyst (who has by now hopefully…
Knicker Watch Officially Starts Here
Today is a momentous day. One that will go down in the history books. Or at least the annals of my life. I hope. Yes, today is the day I got a faint line on a cheap pregnancy test from Wilkinson’s. And a day before Official Test Date at that. I celebrated in hedonistic style,…