What are my Goals?

Today I had to have the phrase “goals” explained to me. In case you were wondering, apparently there are now a whole host of expressions which include this word, which have absolutely nothing to do with football. I put a picture of Wembley Stadium on this post anyway.  Good ol’ Wembers.  A tenuous link to…

Can I interest anyone in a flat? Anyone?

Well the plan to “spend some quality time with Piglet” over half term appears to have fallen flat. Piglet is currently out with Granny, socialising with her friends as usual, while I do boring things like try to sell my flat and shell out dizzying sums of money for the privilege.  In fact, much of…

Partying it Up In Wembers

I will miss Wembley.  Where else, with the possible exception of One Direction’s house (do they all live in the same house?  I sort of imagine they do, except the one who left, obvs.) can you walk out of your flat, take the baby for a walk and find yourself in the middle of a…

Piglet Vs. Literature: Part 2

Piglet seems to have developed a rather disturbing new habit.  Several times this week I have caught him banging his head-apparently deliberately-on his cot or my bed.  Upon consulting Dr Google about this distressing new hobby I have learned the following: Piglet has above average intelligence Head banging is totally normal Piglet must be autistic…

More Unsolicited Advice from the Good People of Wembley

So I regale you with yet another tale of how when you have a baby, everyone considers it their God-given right to tell you how to parent. I had, as usual, carefully considered how Piglet and I were presenting ourselves to the world, in order to deflect any unwanted comments.  Piglet was wearing his snowsuit,…

Drowsy but Awake

Piglet is having a nap *KLAXON* The flip side of this is that I am now scared to move.  I am backed into a corner of my own bed, based on the advice that “babies should nap in the place where they usually go to sleep” which, for Piglet, would be my bed.  This also…

Haters Gonna Hate

Ladies and gentlemen, I have been well and truly JUDGED. And I say to thee, Ye Olde Judgey McJudgeys of Wembley, if you are thinking that someone has made a terrible parenting faux pas, unless it is quite clear that the parenting in question constitutes actual child abuse, please keep your thoughts to yourself. Yesterday…

Piglet Commences Destruction of Entire House

Piglet had his second settling in session with the childminder today.  This went well, right up until the point where we were on the way home and Piglet, who has never been one for eating and drinking anything other than breast milk, decided that he was now hungry.  Hungry enough to start licking the zip…

What is this nap time of which you speak?

I haven’t written on here recently as I have been spending most of my life wandering around Wembley in a dead-eyed haze, pushing a pram containing a wide-eyed and alert Piglet, who sits staring at me blankly as I plead with him to take a nap. He does actually need a nap.  He has all…

Uproar at Gender Segregation Taking Place on UK High Street

Just come back from a visit to the health visitor where, in typical fashion, Piglet did an enormous wee on the baby weighing scales and I was told off for not taking vitamin supplements, despite the fact that (as I protested to the health visitor) they have been repeatedly shown to be useless.  Better just…