Surviving Valentine’s Day as a Single Parent

It’s that time of year again.

No, not the first day of the summer holidays.  Not my birthday. Not even my birthday prior to 2010, when I decided we were going to start working backwards from now on.


You know the drill.  In the red corner (red is for hearts, innit) we have the Loved-Up Couples, the Smug Marrieds, as Bridget Jones would call them. The look at me I’ve found someone and my life is complete brigade.  I’m even going to start referring to them as my “other half” just to show all you sad single numpties that you’e not even WHOLE PEOPLE now.

In the blue corner (blue for cold, as in LEFT OUT IN THE COLD ALL YOU SAD SINGLETONS) we have the opposing team, the Tragic Singles.  The Miss and Mr Havishams sat on the singles table at the wedding, right down the end next to the toilet, bewailing their innumerable Tinder disasters and swapping war stories about that date who seemed so great in the emails, only to show up at All Bar One wearing a Donald Trump wig and Morris dancer’s bells, and greeting them with a cry of “AHOY THERE ME HEARTIES.”

“Valentine’s Day is a waste of time and money!”

“It was invented by greetings cards companies!  Down with greetings cards, the spawn of the devil!”

“Stick it to the man and spend Valentine’s Day watching Netflix on your own in your pyjamas feeling miserable!”

The couples are too busy holding hands and staring into each other’s eyes to respond.

And so there we have it, single ladies and gentlemen of the world, Valentine’s Day in a nutshell. Either you can enjoy it with your “other half” (please don’t call them that.  Are you not both complete people without each other?  Oh hell, I don’t know.  I’ve never been in love.  Maybe that’s what happens.  You just break in two or something, who knows?) or you can sit around feeling bitter because no one loves you.  OR……

…….Wait for it peeps, here is my revolutionary idea.

—–Wait for it……

You can just IGNORE IT!

I know.  I told you it was good.  That is what I am going to do this year, I am going to ignore it!  I am not going to stand in front of the window waiting in anticipation for the postman to bring a card from a secret admirer who doesn’t exist.  I am not going to buy myself a packet of Rolos and eat all of them-even the last one-in a defiant act of declaring love only for myself.*  I am not going to stalk people I have spoken to once, find out their names and send them an anonymous card with my phone number in.**  I’m not going to get involved in a conversation via text with someone I think is the recipient of said card, only to find out I’ve got the wrong number and am actually talking to a Glasgow teenager*** and I am definitely not going to send a card to anyone who can’t read or who at the very least is pretending they can’t, as they are so horrified at having received a card from me.****

*I haven’t done this.

**Or this.

***This also never happened.

****Not another one I can chalk up to experience.

See, Valentine’s Day, best ignored.  If you are part of a couple, I wish you well.  I hope you won’t be like the couple I saw storm out of the restaurant on the one occasion I did go out for dinner with an actual real life person on Valentine’s Day.  On the other hand, if you are, like me, a single person, parent or not, I hope you will join with me in ignoring the whole event, rather than declaring your sorrow because someone else received some flowers and you saw it and it offended your delicate sensibilities, and you started hearing the words to All By Myself in your head, because it isn’t about you, it’s about poor St Valentine and his impending death.  And it’s about couples bickering, and running out of restaurants having a rare chance to celebrate being part of a couple in this world which never appreciates couples or celebrates them in any way, especially not with big parties and white dresses, or not being charged single supplements because they had the audacity to go on holiday as part of a couple, or being able to buy houses because they have two incomes unlike poor old you with your one.

OK maybe this ignoring it thing might be more difficult than I thought.  I’m going back to the attic now. Anyone want to come and watch Netflix with me and be miserable?


Domesticated Momster
Mami 2 Five
Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday
Pink Pear Bear
my petit canard
Life Love and Dirty Dishes

40 Comments Add yours

  1. Kate Holmes says:

    There is always the option of loving yourself and that is the best one of all in or out of coupledom.
    Your post made me smile. Few of us get the love stuff right any or all of the time

    1. Min says:

      That is definitely the best option! Thanks for commenting.

  2. You are so right we do not need another half, I am complete on my own, I do have a hubby who I love, but I don’t need him to be complete. I actually gave my 6 year old son a love heart chocolate today and he said mummy I have something for you, he wrapped his arms around me and gave me a huge hug, that was his gift to me. It was the best valentines gift ever! #mg

    1. Min says:

      Aww that’s adorable! I didn’t get any Valentine’s chocolate exactly, but my mum got home from holiday in the early hours of this morning, and she has given me some souvenir chocolates, which I am currently scoffing, so can’t complain!

  3. I always have an easy opt-out because it’s my mum’s birthday – there’s no getting out of that one for indulgent couple stuff! 🙂 #KCACOLS

    1. Min says:

      Nice! I bet it’s annoying for your mum though when she wants to go out for a nice birthday dinner and it’s all overpriced “romantic” menus.

  4. Crummy Mummy says:

    Don’t be miserable! Treat yourself to something nice! #sundaystars

    1. Min says:

      Haha, I’m not really miserable. I’ve just been for a lovely Sunday lunch with Piglet and my mum and I couldn’t be happier. Don’t worry! Thanks for commenting.

  5. Best way to ignore valentines is to avoid facebook etc!

    Im single and pretty content today. Gifts and all the nice fluffy lovey dovey stuff is nice dont get me wrong its the bad stuff..the arguments…the break ups etc im glad i dont have to worry about it or deal with it.

    Perk of being single is valentines is a cheap day :p

    1. Min says:

      That’s very true! And to be honest most people on Facebook are either spending Valentine’s with family/friends/children or laughing at how Valentine’s isn’t very romantic when you’ve got kids anyway. 🙂

  6. I have to say, I agree with your sentiment about valentines day, and I am married! As much as I love my husband, valentines day is an uneccessarily hyped up day. Yes its nice in way, but why have one day where you celebrate love as opposed to it being an every day thing – sans balloons, flowers, chocs and over priced restaurant meals! 😉 Emily #SundayStars

    1. Min says:

      That’s true-I’d rather have a partner who showed love every day just by being there than one who did some grand romantic gesture on Valentine’s Day. Thanks for commenting.

  7. laura dove says:

    I hated valentines day when I was single, it was just another reminder that I was on my own. I used to buy my son a card and present just to make myself feel better, and tell myself that one day I would have a lovely partner who would shower me with flowers and gifts. Now I DO have a husband but he most definitely did not shower me with flowers and gifts that’s for sure! I got a crappy card and sulked all day!! #KCACOLS

    1. Min says:

      Haha, whose does? I’m pretty sure there are very few people out there living the Valentine’s Day dream, and those few are almost certainly childfree!

  8. My partner and I never have time to celebrate valentines day. I found out I was pregnant the first valentines day we were together, 5 years on and we still don’t have time or the energy to think about it. He didn’t buy me flowers when I gave birth either time so I don’t expect them on a meaningless day! Maybe I am slightly bitter haha! #mg

    1. Min says:

      Haha, flowers are overrated. They just die anyway. Now wine on the other hand….

  9. My husband hasn’t reliably bought me presents since 2009, for anything, Christmas, birthday, anniversary the whole shebang, every few years he randomly gets me something he sees and likes the look of, so I never know whether to get him something or not. It’s very confusing. We do not mark such occasions and despite being married, we have pretty much ignored Valentine’s Day for the last 10 years. I like the idea of celebrating love, but it shouldn’t just be the romantic kind. I went for dinner with my mum last year! #bigpinklink

    1. Min says:

      I went for lunch with my mum and Piglet this year. From what I’m hearing, no one is living the romantic dream anymore!

  10. Kaye says:

    It is a load of crap (even though I’d be fuming if my partner didn’t get me anything – He can’t win haha). Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Kaye xo

    1. Min says:

      Haha, thanks for commenting!

  11. Shoebox of M says:

    Great post. Loved the bits that didn’t happen. Reminds me of the crushing disappointment of waiting for a card, the joy of receiving it and then the horrible realisation it’s from my mum trying to make me feel better.

    1. Min says:

      Ah yes, many happy memories of Valentine’s Days past. Pretty much put me off Valentine’s for life I think.

  12. Oh Min…! I’d have been happy to watch Netflix with you in the attic! It’s what I did on Valentine’s evening (the actual day was the normal craziness of running after the kids/tearing out my greying hair etc) then me and husband ignored each other on the sofa watching Netflix for the evening! Perfect! I don’t do Valentine’s Day either. I have terrible memories from school, of them doing a Valentine’s Day post thing, where at registration, someone would turn up to your tutor group, armed with all the cards that had been posted in the box outside the assembly hall, and I’d usually be the only girl who didn’t have one… Cringe! Netflix is a much better option!!
    Thank you so much for linking up to the very first #bigpinklink

    1. Min says:

      Oh no that card thing at school must have been a recipe for disaster! Sounds awful. Yes, I think we should all take solace in Netflix. Thanks for commenting and hosting.

  13. claire says:

    This was brilliant!
    I’m on my own for the second year and although the ex husband was round seeing the kids I was happy and content ignoring the fact that it was valentines day!
    Netflix and chill literally meant just that and it was perfect!

    1. Min says:

      Haha, my love life has been non-existent for so long that I only recently found out what “Netflix and chill” means, and I had to be informed of that by my 6th form students!

  14. Robyn says:

    My husband is all or nothing, this was a nothing year! At least you know what to expect from your single Valentine’s Day 😉 I have to admit that we don’t treat ourselves to things very often, so birthdays, Christmas and, yes, Valentine’s Day are just a good chance to ask for something we’ve been coveting for ages.

    1. Min says:

      Yes that’s true. I’m angling for something for Mother’s Day now, but Piglet is too young to get me anything, so I will have to petition my own mother!

  15. Mrs H says:

    Valentine’s Day does really suck doesn’t it?! I have never been a fan and now that I am married we barely celebrate it at all. It seems a pointless day, just designed to make people feel miserable. I hope that you did survive the day. And that you got to watch lots of Netflix and keep all those rolos to yourself. Thanks for linking up to Sunday Stars. Hugs Lucy xxxx

    1. Min says:

      I’m still alive! And in the end, no Rolos or Netflix were required (if I’m perfectly honest, I don’t even have a subscription to Netflix. Come to think of it, I don’t even know if it needs a subscription. Does it?). I went for a lovely lunch with my mum and Piglet and it was fab. Hope yours was better than expected too!

  16. This made me giggle. I’m not a huge fan of valentines. But I also really hate those people say who say “We don’t need a special day to be romantic, because we are always romantic”. They are the worst! Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics

    1. Min says:

      Haha! I don’t think many people are “always romantic.” Thanks for hosting and commenting!

  17. Valentines Day is seriously overrated and I’m married. We went to dinner but no cards or flowers, gifts or chocolate were exchanged. Just a regular date night with conversation with each other without any interruptions from our children. I even told my hubby not to waste money on flowers or cards. Now my 15 year old went all out for his girlfriend…that young puppy love…think I just threw up in my mouth a little lol. Thanks for linking up with #momsterslink and I apologize for the delay in commenting as I had company and then the flu hit my household.

    1. Min says:

      No worries, thanks for hosting and commenting! Hope everyone is feeling better now. It’s so funny how teenagers take Valentines so seriously!

  18. I totally ignore it these days, it is actually my blog birthday so I focus on that now really. I never went in for the whole valentines day thing anyway, call me miserable but I just could never be bothered with it! #KCACOLS

    1. Min says:

      Not miserable at all! I feel far less miserable now I’ve learned to ignore it than I did when I thought I was supposed to be the recipient of some grand romantic gesture.

  19. Valentine’s Day used to be very important for us before we got kids. We got engaged on Valentine’s day. It wasn’t the most glamorous day at all as I was ill in bed and Nick came back from work and proposed next to me on his knees! I was with 40 of fever almost about to die and when I saw him with the ring I almost cry. So it was the most random proposal but it was on Valentine’s Day so this day is kind of special for us. However we don’t celebrate it as much as it is not easy with kids. We love having a nice meal at home and watch a good movie together. We don’t exchange presents although this year we did but something very little. And I always get flowers and I love that! Thanks so much for sharing this at #KCACOLS. I would love to see you again on Sunday! 🙂 x

    1. Min says:

      Awww that’s lovely! What a fab proposal. I bet that cheered you up when you were ill! A great story. Thanks for hosting and commenting. x

  20. Maeia says:

    This made me laugh! I think ignoring it is the way forward! I’ve never been a massive fan of valentines but we do attempt to go out for a meal these days. I hope you had a nice day/evening regardless. #KCACOLS

    1. Min says:

      I had a lovely day and totally ignored the Valentine’s element! Thanks for commenting.

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