Now I Am Old

So, as Carrie Bradshaw would say, I got to thinking…..that now I am old I think a little differently to before.  In fact, perhaps mentioning Carrie Bradshaw at all makes me old, since it is now eleven years since Sex and the City ended.  So here goes…..

Now I am old……….

1.) I am flattered, rather than annoyed, when someone in an orange tiger onesie with whiskers painted on their face in eyeliner pen chats me up on a night out.

2.) I rarely ever have a night out in the first place.

3.) My idea of a first-rate Saturday night is watching Strictly Come Dancing with my mother.

4.) Strictly is way better than X Factor.

5.) Accidentally turning over to the X Factor final prompts comments like “what are these jokers doing?  This is awful.”

6.) I find myself suddenly being a nice person and making magnanimous comments like, “well yes I know she has twelve children and is on benefits, but I’m not one to judge, and I’m sure she has a very difficult life.”

7.) I find myself wishing people behind me would just pull out any grey hairs they see, as I CAN’T REACH THEM DAMMIT!

8.) I start worrying about things like being “mutton dressed as lamb.”

9.) And wondering I should cut my hair before I start looking a bit witchy.

10.) Most conversations with people I don’t know very well include a reference to my age, usually accompanied by phrases like “you don’t look that old” and “I would never have guessed you were that old.”

I am going to start hanging out in old people’s homes.  Surely age is relative, right?


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17 thoughts on “Now I Am Old”

  1. I must also be old since ALL of these things apply to me as well. In fact, I know I’m old, I shouldn’t have needed a list to tell me! I recently cut off my witchy hair and kind of miss it, embrace the witchy hair I say 😉

    1. Ah, the youth of today! To be honest, even though I am still a few years off sixty, I find myself referring to them in slightly patronising tones already.

  2. I recently saw something that summed it up perfectly:

    I keep thinking ‘Oh man, how am I allowed to be an adult? I’m so immature.’
    Then I spend time with teenagers, and I’m like ‘Okay, yeah. I am an adult. I am totally an adult.

    Haha! Happy new year 🙂

    1. Yes, quite. I’m a teacher so used to being the authority figure amongst teenagers. Nowadays they have to explain new-fangled cultural trends, such as Justin Bieber and the younger Kardashians, to me.

  3. So scared, I can relate to so many of these. I am most definitely, categorically, old *wails*. Stricly is most definitely better than X-Factor, I thought the grey hair things was just me (I wish people would pull out the ones I cant see too!) and I spend waaaay to long thinking about whether some clothes are age appropriate *sob*. Thanks for linking up another great post to #MarvMondays! Emily

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