Am I Failing at Life?

As I write this, I am sat in my brother’s old bedroom, which I now share with Piglet, in my mother’s house. My brother’s snowboard is still in the corner and there is a promotional flyer on the wall for a club in Ibiza which I suspect he has never been to.

I am 35 years old, and this wasn’t meant to happen.

At swimming class, I am the only person who parks their buggy outside, because everyone else can drive and therefore doesn’t need to catch the bus to swimming and leave home an hour early so that they can organise their day around the bus timetable.

Also at swimming today, I was the only mother in the pool.  All the other mothers at swimming were stood on the poolside, watching their husbands take the babies for their swimming lesson (almost all those mothers still felt the need to change the babies out of their swimming costumes afterwards, as presumably the husbands couldn’t manage it, which from a feminist perspective I find OUTRAGEOUS, but I have previously written about that here).  I do not have a husband.  Piglet does not have a daddy to fail spectacularly at changing him.  I will not be writing any blog posts with titles like “our love story,” or “why I love my husband even more now he’s a father,” because, guess what folks, I DO NOT HAVE A HUSBAND.  In fact, I failed at this milestone of life so spectacularly, that I had to import sperm from America in order to have a baby.

Sometimes I am a bit worried that I am Failing At Life.

I mean, if someone had told the teenage me that I would be living with my mother in my mid-thirties, having failed to get married despite having had the wedding pretty much planned since the age of fifteen and the baby names all picked out, I would probably go and throw myself off the nearest cliff, but, sometimes, when life gives you lemons, you have to make lemonade.

My lemonade is called Piglet.

My Kid Doesnt Poop Rainbows
Mummuddlingthrough

15 Comments Add yours

  1. Aw, min. Don’t be down on yourself x

    Funny, as I was reading I’d already started planning my comment : When life throws you snowboards, go snowboarding. I have no idea what that even means, but it made me smile when you came to the same conclusion… Albeit with piglet flavour lemonade.

    At least you are taking piglet to swimming lessons…this 2 parent family haven’t pulled that off yet?!

    We all have days we feel like a sack of shite. Regardless of any perceived ‘perfect set up’. tomorrow will be a better day. Xxx

    1. Min says:

      Haha, if my brother has his way Piglet will be on that snowboard before he’s two….and I will be running along behind shouting “no! Not my firstborn!” as he goes careering down a mountainside in the name of sport and my brother’s attempts to make up for the fact that he didn’t learn to snowboard until he was way too old to make the Winter Olympics. To be honest I’m fine now-just had a bit of a wobble over the weekend. xx

  2. Gianna says:

    It sounds to me as though you’re doing it just right, not failing! You’re going above and beyond what others do by organising swimming around buses just so you can take your little one, and get in the pool with them 🙂 keep up the good work 🙂 #fartglitter xxxx

  3. I think you need a perspective change. You’re a brave woman who knew what you wanted and made it happen. You decided to become a single mum and seem to be rocking it. You’re not failing- you’re rocking it. Thanks for linking up to #fartglitter x

    1. Min says:

      Thank you! I’m OK, was just having a funny five minutes at the weekend I think.

  4. I don’t think you’re failing at life, I think you are incredibly brave to have wanted something so badly, and gone after it, when so many people (looking at myself here,) wouldn’t have had anywhere near the courage you’ve shown, to do that. I love reading posts like this, because they remind me to stop taking what I have for granted, and to see someone else who can be positive about the negatives. I’ll admit to being the type of person who would see a lemon, and rub it in my eye to make myself cry…!
    Great post, I can see from the comments you’ve made that you feel a little better about things now, I’m glad.
    #fartglitter

  5. Talya says:

    I think all mums can be massively down on themselves lovely but single mothers I have HUGE respect for including you and you are certainly not failing in life…the fact you have taken your little one out to a swimming lesson when so many others can not get themselves together even to that shows that. I agree with the comment about rocking it….you are not failing but definitely rocking it because you are strong enough to be doing this alone (even if it may not feel that way at times). Thanks so much for linking up to #coolmumclub lovely xx

    1. Min says:

      Thanks Talya. xx

  6. We all have little wobble days where we doubt ourselves and what we’re doing.
    Hope you’re feeling more positive now. I’m sure you’re doing a great job.
    #coolmumclub

  7. Pen says:

    Hey you. You are absolutely not failing at life. You are awesome. You are a great Mum. Piglet is the luckiest little monster alive because you are the most devoted mother ever.

    I have come to believe that people who appear to have perfect lives are just people we don’t know very well. Those husband and wives at swimming are going through a tough time too, and if they aren’t yet, you can bet your bottom dollar that something will happen in the future. No life is a fairy tale and if it were it would be boring. xx

    1. Min says:

      Thanks Pen. You’re totally right. In fact, this week at swimming, to my utter joy and delight, no less than two of the dads actually changed their own children. While the mums swam with the babies, and then went off and got changed on their own afterwards! Perhaps I was too quick to judge 🙂

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