Will I Be Single Forever?

We’ve all googled that, right, as a joke? OK, maybe not even as a joke.  Google knows everything.  Dr Google, Professor Google, Lord and Lady Google; Fellow of the Royal Society of Googling.  Bring me your wisdom O omniscient sage of the interwebs, and predict my romantic future. I never got a satisfactory reply. My…

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Bath, Book, Bed? I Should Be So Lucky

The evening routine is not something I have ever really got the hang of.  I am not a routine person.  Mornings are for rushing out of the door barely dressed and with a toddler still mewling at the outrage of being torn from the comforting catatonic vigil of back to back Paw Patrol and Fireman…

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Five Things Toddlers Are Obsessed With

OK, so this post should really be titled, “Five things MY toddler is obsessed with,” as I have no other benchmark from which to make my ridiculous generalisations, but here goes. Sticks Really we are talking branches here.  Some would say entire trees.  Check this bad boy out. This is not a new phenomenon. Yes,…

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How I Turned Blogging into an Incredibly Lucrative Career Without Knowing the Difference Between Your and You’re-And Now You Can Too!

You all know me.  It’s Me, the Blogging Guru.  I had a terrible time after my first child was born.  It was hard getting to grips with just being Mum as opposed to an Academy Award-nominated actress (Best Make Up, 1998), and I was struggling to cope. So I started blogging.  Let’s face it, life…

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Head Lice: When Speciesism Is Definitely The Best Option

I like to think that I’m pretty good to animals.  I’m vegetarian, although not vegan (one word: CHEESE) and although I would never dream of being preachy about it (OK guys, I’m being preachy.  EVERYONE BECOME VEGETARIAN YOU FLESH EATING HEATHENS), I like to think I’m doing my bit for the environment, but I am no…

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Pushed to the Limit By Small Child

There has been many a day when I have returned from work to find my mother slumped on the sofa, a look of exhaustion and despair etched on her face. “It’s been a difficult day,” she would croak, as Piglet played with his cars around her, in front of Abney and Teal, making cute little…

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What if You Don’t Have An Amazing Daddy?

There are certain conversations that just don’t go down well in a public forum.  Naturally, once one has children any embarrassment about, for example, shouting “POO!” randomly at frequent intervals seems to dissipate.  Not so, however, with certain other conversations, such as the one I found myself having at swimming today. “Daddy, daddy, daddy!” my son is…

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Feminism: The Label We Should Wear With Pride

“Miss,” the boy whispered to me during a Year 9 lesson.  “That Miss Smith,*  she’s a feminist, you know.  She’s always talking about feminism.  And….” (his voice dropped to a whisper) “we think she might be a LESBIAN!” Ah yes, feminism, the word spoken of in hushed tones by teenage boys everywhere.  There was a…

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Why Co-Sleeping is Right for Me

As I write, Piglet is asleep next to me while I tap away at the laptop in the blue light that I fear will one day be the new tobacco, slowly killing us all by interfering with our natural rhythms, in our new house, in the king size bed that my mother fears is going to…

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Ode to American Apparel

There are no words. I keep hearing the words.  An article here, an article there.  Usually in the Guardian and written by somebody who clearly squeezed themselves into a disco pant on multiple occasions in 2009, even whilst simultaneously hating the brand and all that it stood for, and how in hindsight everything seemed so…

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