I know, I’m sorry. It’s all been said before and we can all yawn over the collective tabloid word-vomit of celebrity relationship-fatigue that is yapping on about Brad n’ Ange, Posh n’ Becks, Jen n’ whoever it is she finally married, but I couldn’t resist getting my two pence in, two weeks or whatever after the news broke. The dream is over. The golden couple are no more. The grim sound of the relationship death knell is upon us.
Brangelina, it’s over. *Sniffs*
I haven’t felt this disappointed by the demise of a celebrity relationship since Katie Price and Peter Andre split up and it was on the ACTUAL SIX O CLOCK NEWS.
“No!” I cried, letting out an audible gasp as the terrible tidings were broken to me by a colleague at work. It cannot be. Brangelina were my hope; my last hope that maybe, just maybe, relationships can survive six children, two high-powered careers in the film industry and occasional jaunts to war zones for a bit of humanitarian work.
Just like Posh and Becks, I imagined that Brangelina were the perfect celebrity couple; the parents we all wanted to have but never did. Rich, beautiful, achingly cool and apparently quite liberal in their parenting styles (I have spotted dyed hair on at least one of the sprogs). And yet clearly things were not so perfect behind the Hollywood smiles.
And it got me thinking; what is the perfect relationship? Is there really any such thing as happy ever after? Well, obviously no, just a randomly plotted ending in the middle of someone’s real life story. All relationships end, and those that don’t end with death, right? Cheerful stuff, those happily ever afters. The reaction of one of my colleagues to my exhortation upon hearing the news that I thought they would be together forever was to simply scoff and say, “like they were both together forever with their previous husbands and wives.”
I was clearly being unrealistic in my expectation that the fairytale is supposed to last, that even under the Hollywood microscope, two people could grow old together and live a happy and fulfilled family life.
I have said many times that being single is underrated, and I am perfectly happy; but like, it seems, most other human beings, I do dream of that fairytale ending. I have-like most of us whether we admit to it or not-been raised on a diet of Disney and romcom fluff, and I project my expectations onto the relationships of others I have never met, in order to live under the illusion that some people do, against all odds, have the perfect partnership, and are living in a state of pure matrimonial harmony.
And that’s why we do it. That’s why we wallow in shock when celebrity couplings we thought were rock-solid suddenly appear to come unstuck. That’s why we perpetually see Jennifer Aniston as wronged woman and spurned wife rather than the strong and perfectly together Hollywood superstar she probably is in reality. We like to believe the tales that we weave around their lives. They make our mundane ones so much more interesting, and they make us believe that we too, could have the fairytale. All we need to do is lose a stone, star in a blockbuster movie, get a couture designer to give us our red carpet dresses for free and single-handedly save the world. Easy, right?
And if we can’t do that, well, it doesn’t matter. Even Hollywood-perfect couples don’t always go the distance.
Oh well, at least it means we get to loiter around the magazine aisles with bated breath, waiting to see who they shack up with next. Vial of blood, anyone?
A version of this post first appeared on the website Meet Other Mums
It’s funny how we can get invested in these celebrity relationships, isn’t it? I think you’re right – we want to believe in the fairytale version of these high-powered couplings, though the reality is probably much more mundane. They argue about whose turn it is to get up with the kids, or what to have for dinner, or who forgot to replace the toilet roll.
I agree-I can just see Brad and Ange arguing over the toilet roll!
Sooo disappointing when these two split! I was hooked on the news coverage. Like you I think I was just sad that it didn’t work, 6 kids, showbiz, working couple – they were my hope that it can actually be done. #chucklemums
I know-I guess it was inevitable really, but I was so hoping they would go the distance!
I’m totally not into celebrities and couldn’t honestly give a crap about Brangelina, but I am a bit of a romantic, and despite my recent love disaster, I do live in hope that i will find someone to grow old with…!
#chucklemums
Aww me too! I hope we both find that person to grow old with, although I have come to a point where I know it’s not the end of the world if I don’t, and I will be OK.
ooo… I hadn’t even thought about who their next conquests will be? Maybe Ange and Simon Pegg? Or Brad and Peter Andre? The possibilities are endless… #FamilyFun
Those are some good ones. I think personally I would love to see Ange and Peter Andre. The covers the gossip mags would come up with would be incredible. So much scope for angry pictures of Katie Price!
YES! I find myself so invested in celeb relationships which is nuts! Why do I care? Why? Like you say it is because the fairy tale that we have been sold. I know it is all a load of bollocks but I will be heartbroken if Wills and Kate ever break-up. Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics
Haha, me too! And basically any celeb couple too, unless it involves people who make a living out of breaking up with people in the glare of the media (talk to the hand Katie P and Kim K)
Oh I’m with you another one who watched too much Disney and happy ever after that I live in a bubble that it is real and will happen. Now brangelina had gone who is left? Posh and Becks? Do they count after the whole nanny scandal? Hmm well if it’s any consolation my grandparents are 87 and 82 and have been married 63 years, happily I do believe. How amazing is that it’s more than most people have even been alive. They are my very real pin up for happily ever after and that sometimes, it does work! Thanks for sharing at #familyfun xx
I think Posh and Becks still count. If you’ve worked through it and come out the other side, that counts. With grandparents and parents, I always feel that they came of age in such a different time that I can’t compare my experiences to theirs. My mother was married at 18. I can’t even imagine that.
Brad’s on his way over to mine right now 😉 Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics
Thanks for hosting!
I’m very aware that happily ever after isn’t a thing and I couldn’t give two hoots about celebrities either. Sorry I’m not sounding my normal positive self but apart from my grandparents I know nobody that’s marriage hasn’t ended in divorce. I have Dave I love him dearly as does he me, we’ve bought our child into this world, this is the biggest bond I think we will ever have. I think we will be together for ever because we both have a similar outlook on life. Hope whatever I was trying to say here made sense!? Thanks for linking up to #familyfun
That sounds pretty good to me! I would love to have someone who loves me, even if it wasn’t forever, but I think it must be far worse to have a hideous relationship breakdown than to be single forever and happy.
I don’t believe in fairytales. I think people who stay together always are well suited, but also work at it and have realistic expectations and don’t give up as soon as there are problems. People increasingly don’t have that mentality – people expect a fairytale and therefore feel it isn’t right and walk away if things aren’t perfect. Everyone always believes something perfect is out there. I don’t think it is.
I wasn’t upset about Brangelina – never cared about them. I was a bit upset about Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon! & imagine if Tom Hanks & Rita Wilson broke up! Or Barack & Michelle!!
Thanks so much for joining us for #FridayFrolics. Hope to see you next time.
No, not Barack and Michelle! Although I imagine it would be a conscious uncoupling rather than a “bitter love split” in their case. I agree that it’s probably the case that there’s no one perfect out there, because none of us are so it it seems silly to think that a relationship could be.