When Parenting Drives You To Distraction

The other day, a woman on the bus stop complained about my child. She said he was too loud, too boisterous, why didn’t I “control” him? She then flounced off in a huff, saying she could take no more of my son and his appalling behaviour. Another parent at the bus stop turned to me,…

Dating: Am I Bitter?

So we are finally back in this place. The place I hoped I would never go back to.  The hell that is online dating. I have tried to enjoy dating, I really have.  I have thrown myself into it with gusto, telling myself that this time it will be different.  This time, I will be…

Very Brief Existential Crisis (now recovered having written it down-DO NOT FEAR FOR MY SANITY!)

The other day I started feeling sorry for myself about my love life (e.g. lack thereof). This is a terrible state of affairs, because it has the ability to depress me like nothing else; well, nothing else apart from those times when I look out of the window, usually at work, and sigh sadly to…

Feeling a bit starved of affection. Might Get Cat.

It is a fact well established that a woman not in possession of a husband must be in want of a baby.  Or at the very least a cat, so I was of course not surprised to see (on Twitter.  Not in the course of my own literary wanderings.  I prefer something a little more…

Will I Be Single Forever?

We’ve all googled that, right, as a joke? OK, maybe not even as a joke.  Google knows everything.  Dr Google, Professor Google, Lord and Lady Google; Fellow of the Royal Society of Googling.  Bring me your wisdom O omniscient sage of the interwebs, and predict my romantic future. I never got a satisfactory reply. My…

Goodbye to the Fairytale

I know, I’m sorry.  It’s all been said before and we can all yawn over the collective tabloid word-vomit of celebrity relationship-fatigue that is yapping on about Brad n’ Ange, Posh n’ Becks, Jen n’ whoever it is she finally married, but I couldn’t resist getting my two pence in, two weeks or whatever after…

Things not to tell my younger self

I quite often see blog posts and articles with headings about what you wish you had told your younger self. They invariably talk about how you shouldn’t worry, and how it will all be all right in the end. But what if it isn’t all right in the end?  What if the thing you want…

Household Emergency: TV Not Working

How does one overcome this dilemma without making one look as though one is incapable of dealing with electrical malfunction? Last night I made a decision.  I decided that I was spending too much time checking the internet on my phone instead of looking after baby, so I decided that from now on I would…

The Maternal Guilt Starts Here

Well actually it started three months ago, when the wee one was born.  And there is never a moment when you are truly safe.  There’s always something waiting round the corner that could be going wrong.  A case in point being the one illustrated below. On Friday I was happily bleating down the phone to…

Sudden Panic at Actual Realisation that I am about to become Really, Really Poor

AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!! This pretty much sums up how I felt when I saw how much (read: *little*) I am going to get in maternity pay.  Seriously, it’s so bad I almost considered having Little One adopted. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? I am literally terrified.  Why am I not married?  WHY WHY WHY? OK, need…