When they were both wee nippers, one of my brothers hit the other one around the head with a toy milk float. It was probably the most dangerous use of a milk float until that episode of Father Ted where the evil milkman places a bomb on his milk float and Dougal gets stuck driving…
Month: August 2015
Times My Mother Was Wrong, and I Was Vindicated
And so I find myself confined to the bedroom in case of baby awakenings, sitting in bed in complete darkness with a glass of wine, while Piglet sleeps blissfully in the bed next to me. Well, complete darkness apart from the computer screen. Can the light from computer screens wreak havoc upon sleeping children, I…
Piglet Takes First Steps. Mummy Misses It.
As you may have guessed from the title, today was the momentous day that Piglet started walking. I am henceforth to be found training for the one hundred metre sprint at the 2016 Olympics. After all, I am going to be running after him from now on and he is FAST. Very fast, for somebody…
The Wrongness of Most Nursery Rhymes
One of the things that has surprised me most since I became a parent is that nursery rhymes still exist. Not only exist, but they are EVERYWHERE. And kids actually LIKE THEM. When I myself was a wee nipper I had a book of nursery rhymes, which disturbingly included one about a child being whipped…
Times My Mother Was Right, and I Was Wrong
Obviously this is going to be a short list (haha, SORRY MUM). My mother and I do not always see eye to eye on all things parenting. For example, she once exclaimed to me in a horrified tone, “You’re not planning on breastfeeding him past six months, are you?” as though I had just told…
“PLAY NICELY GIDEON! THAT BABY IS ONLY SMALL!”
Piglet is now showing some interest in other children and babies. Not, however, as much interest as other children are showing in him. Today for example, we were on a train to Bath. This is the same train, I might add, that Piglet demanded to be walked up and down repeatedly last week, prompting me…
How I Am Now Piglet’s Dadda
Piglet, as we all know, does not have a dadda. He does, however, like to say “dadda” a lot, thus proving that the word is nothing more than a meaningless piece of baby babble. A small victory for all mothers across the nation who are fretting that their children are obsessed with their fathers and…
Come On Eileen
Yes I have a new website. That is not the most exciting thing to have happened today, however, as today was also the day that I bought my first pair of dungarees. Well, the first that were for me as opposed to Piglet. At least since the brief flourishing of a random children’s clothes shop…
I am a moustachioed, hessian-wearing librarian, and proud of it
My response to this. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-33904758 Let’s consider another example of what he might have said, to see how ridiculous this is.“I don’t know what it is with all these mothers these days, feeding their children bananas in public. Don’t they understand that I-and probably some other fellas for that matter-don’t like to look at bananas?…
O Sleep How You Taunt Me
Piglet went to sleep at 7.15pm today. ***KLAXON*** I am braced for a rough night when he inevitably wakes up in an hour or so, having regarded his current period of sleep as nothing but a later-than-normal nap, and sits bolt upright in bed, before launching himself at me head first and emitting a high…