Musings on my Impending Poverty

on

What a lovely relaxing day this has been.

In fact, what a lovely relaxing two weeks this has been.  It’s such a shame I have to go back to work on Monday and ruin it all.

Still, nine weeks folks.  NINE WEEKS.  Well, nine working weeks left anyway.  Nine weeks until I plunge into poverty and despair, as most of the pregnant people in the world are able to rely comfortably on their husbands’ salaries at such a time as they need to go on maternity leave.  Either that or they are so rich and ambitious and driven that they can go back to work after three days and leave their offspring with a nanny.

NOT THAT I AM JEALOUS OR ANYTHING.

Need to make self more ambitious and driven, possibly in the style of Karren Brady or Sheryl Sandberg, so that I can be provider and also feminist role model for baby.  Particularly important that I am feminist role model as baby is a boy and therefore presumably will need to be taught about the importance of equal rights as will naturally gravitate towards a sense of privileged male entitlement bestowed upon him by the patriarchy, rather than be enraged by a natural sense of injustice at being expected to play with toy carpet sweepers (which I was not.  I liked my toy carpet sweeper.*  It’s just a shame that affection never evolved into a permanent enjoyment of cleaning in adult life).

Anyway, highlight of today was going to Starbucks, getting a nice decaffeinated beverage with my name on it-well, OK, a variation on my name, if my name was “Ereech”-and sitting blissfully in the shop, looking out at the rain and thinking about how I was not at work.  This is what it will be like when I am on maternity leave, I thought.  Except that I will not be able to afford the likes of a latte or a choc chunk shortbread cookie when I am on maternity leave, and will have to go into Starbucks and order tap water instead, while Baby has a breast milk babychino made by me.

If anyone has any suggestions for totally free things to do they will all be welcome.

*Carpet sweepers, for the benefit of anyone under the age of 30 who may be reading this, were a popular household implement that used to be used for cleaning one’s floors before the invention of the vacuum cleaner.  GOD I AM OLD.  I LIVED IN A WORLD WHERE NOT EVERYONE HAD A VACUUM CLEANER!

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Alina says:

    Maternity leave sucks financially speaking. I love being with my baby all day but when money are disappearing it gets depressing. I gave up on Starbucks. I make my own coffe and go out for long walks with little one. Try the children’s centre activities as well: baby massage, baby club – they are free and quite entertaining

    1. Min says:

      Ah yes, I went to the children’s centre and it was a lifeline when I was on maternity leave. Got me out of the house and gave the day a bit of structure. Thanks for your tips.

Leave a Reply