Hallelujah! Apparently the baby is “probably head down, although the head hasn’t dropped into the pelvis yet.” Presumably this means he’s already starting to gear up for birth. Obviously do not want baby to be born immediately, but at least he isn’t in a weird position. At least not at the moment (probably shouldn’t speak…
Month: April 2014
The Many Manifestations of Breathing
First hypnobirthing session today. This turned out not to be the hideous middle class smug married experience I had been expecting, for the simple reason that I was the only person on the course. So no cheating with the breathing exercises then and slacking off half way through to scratch the many inevitable itches that…
Musings on my Impending Poverty
What a lovely relaxing day this has been. In fact, what a lovely relaxing two weeks this has been. It’s such a shame I have to go back to work on Monday and ruin it all. Still, nine weeks folks. NINE WEEKS. Well, nine working weeks left anyway. Nine weeks until I plunge into poverty…
Bring Me The WIne
God I could murder some wine. What is a lovely two week break away from work without wine? The most decadent treat I can now give myself is a decaf latte. Literally cannot think about life stretching out into the future with no wine. Still, things could be worse. According to the Internets, I am…
So this is what it feels like to be, in the words of the bloke from Fat Families, a “Massive Fatty”
Today’s most pressing questions: 1.) By having a baby with a sperm donor, am I inadvertently ruining the lives of the next generation, who will be destined to resent me and be forever miserable, and 2.) WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH WHEN I EAT???? With regard to the second one, I am currently lying…
How Not To Balls Up Your Baby’s Life Forever. Apparently.
Today is a momentous day. Yes, today a stranger offered me his seat on the tube. I am now officially a big fat pregnant woman, make no mistake. And I am loving it. The baby appears to enjoy putting his feet up by my belly button, so my new favourite game, as discovered last night,…
When does the nesting instinct kick in?
Yet again I am engaged in the deadly habit of procrastination. Why is it that every time the holidays roll around I fool myself into thinking that if I do one productive thing per day-just one-then the entire day has been a success? Today’s “productive task” consisted of emailing some photos that I had promised…
Revelation: Having a Hangover is Basically Just Being Really, Really Tired
So apparently I should be relaxing and not overdoing it now that I am pregnant. I also shouldn’t be crossing my legs, as one person usefully reminded me, as I may “crush the baby.” I now feel infinitely guilty about all the times I have crossed my legs. Also I must look massive, as at…