I never thought I would find myself making major lifestyle changes on behalf of the insect population of the world. In days gone by, I was guilty of seeing insects as the enemy; moths flitting in through the kitchen window, cockroaches scuttling across my path in the toilets of a Tokyo bar in summertime, That…
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The Stick Collection
I am outside, trying to separate a 25 metre set of Christmas lights (“warm white,” I’ll have you know. I’m keeping it classy) from the house. It all starts simply enough. I know how they’re attached. All seems straightforward. I was there when they were assembled, after all, one torrid night in early December in…
Diary of a Snow Day
Writing this, I feel almost giddy with the realisation that we have had not one, but three snow days in the past two winters. Back in my London days, working in a city that enjoyed a snow day roughly once a decade, and at a school that would stay doggedly open if the four horsemen…
My Morning Routine
I’m sorry, this is not the kind of post you think it’s going to be. I am not going to appear on your computer screen like a paragon of virtue shining radiantly from YouTube, mixing kale and chia seed smoothies in my Nutribullet whilst simultaneously performing a sun salutation (multi-tasking!) alongside my identically attired and…
How I Am Now Really Into Old People Hobbies, Like Gardening
I have killed a plant. A dracaena marginata, no less. They are impossible to kill, I am told, by the Received Wisdom. You can’t go wrong with one of those palmy things with the spindly leaves. They love ill-treatment and general neglect. There is one in the school reception, and someone actually hung baubles off…
My New Year’s Resolution to be a Better Parent And Teach My Child To Read
The school have sent a strongly worded email. Not just to me, I hasten to add. Clearly I’m not the only one whose waning enthusiasm for Biff, Chip and Kipper books is beginning to show. Four times a week, children must read, it says. Four times a week they must have something written in their…
It’s 2018 Folks, Here’s How to Be A Very Poor Excuse For An Activist
I blame Twitter. The endless shouting match of horror, the voices of reason and justified outrage mixed in with the voices of hate and division. The internet used to be a place where the worst thing you could do was illegally download a song you liked. Now, it feels as though to be in the…
The First Day At School
I remember very little about my first day (or year) at school. In fact, all I remember was that it was 1984, Madonna was riding high in the charts, and at some point my mother had a questionable bubble perm. They also had real lipstick in the wendy house, and one day I put it…
Dating: Am I Bitter?
So we are finally back in this place. The place I hoped I would never go back to. The hell that is online dating. I have tried to enjoy dating, I really have. I have thrown myself into it with gusto, telling myself that this time it will be different. This time, I will be…
It’s Not Me, It’s You
Some time ago I read a post by a fellow single mum blogger, about the fact that when someone utters the dreaded line “It’s not you, it’s me,” it inevitably feels as though the reverse is true. After all, you’re the one who has the great big stamp of rejection branded across your forehead. Now,…