I never thought it would happen. I never thought that I would become one of them. One of, you know, Them. Those perfect parents with the perfect Instagram shots, the rows of pictures of beautiful and stylish children, with the perfect hipster Mummy in the perfect hipster dungarees, child on hip, child on scooter, posing…
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Why I hate inspirational quotes
My brother is the King of Cynicism. He is one in a long line of cynics, including our father before us, who loved nothing better than to sit in the corner of a pub, peering over a broadsheet and watching the world silently with an acerbic eye; and before that our grandfather, who amused us as children…
What is Success?
Some years ago, I was at a conference for sixth form students, aimed at encouraging them to apply to top universities. As I sat at the back, listening to the speakers, one terrifying statistic caught my ear. It was the unwelcome news that, on average, Oxbridge graduates seven years post-graduation were earning approximately three times…
Why my son’s eating habits drive me insane
Two days ago, I sat in a bus station feeding my 20 month old son raisins. “OOH, LOOK AT HIS LOVELY FACE!” remarked an older lady who was waiting for the bus with her husband. They both smiled indulgently. “Is he a good eater?” she enquired. I felt bad having to answer in the negative….
Why I Am Lucky
The other day, on the train on the way home from work, I spotted a link in my Twitter newsfeed for a photo gallery of women’s birthing experiences in countries that would probably be described in that classic Western imperialist terminology as “developing.” Countries where medical care was, at best, patchy, and where, for a…
A Very Big Parenting Challenge
This post first appeared on The Butterfly Mother as part of her guest blogging series on parenting challenges. The biggest parenting challenge that I faced was my very first one. Let’s take it right back to the beginning here. Let’s take it right back to…. Conception. I know, TOTES INAPPROPES, right? Well no, actually. See my child…
Who’s afraid of the bogeyman?
When I was a child I had a plan. The plan was, if a nuclear war should break out, I would take cover underneath the bed. The bed, a cabin bed no less, with a fitted wardrobe underneath and a desk so tiny I couldn’t use it without banging my head on the bed above,…
My Favourite Bloggers
Recently it has come to my attention that there are blogging awards doing the rounds. I know, I know. Pipe down at the back there. What do you mean I RIPPED THIS POST OFF EVERY OTHER BLOGGER EVER? I have my own opinions, you know. And here they are. These ladies (and they are all…
Giving Myself a Mummy Makeover
It’s Mother’s Day! Yay! The one day of the year when we are allowed to lie in bed all day being fanned with giant feathery fans by our children, while they behave perfectly, bring us an endless selection of dainty morsels on silver trays and present us with giant homemade cards Pinterest would be jealous of. Or…
Postman Pat in Still On TV Shocker
Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat and his black and white cat. Early in the morning, just as day is dawning, he picks up all the postbags in his van…… Who among the thirtysomethings of today doesn’t look back with a warm glow of nostalgia when hearing that tune? A tune so catchy I’ve probably…