Before having my son, I didn’t give much thought to what kind of parent I wanted to be. However, there was one thing I knew for certain. I was going to be Strict. Nine years of being a secondary school teacher, and observing countless children-and therefore the long-term consequences of the actions of countless parents-and I…
Category: educating baby
How about…let’s teach men not to rape, OK?
So today I fell victim to the curse of public transport known as the Angry Bus Driver. I don’t know what it is about bus drivers. I’ve never been one, so I perhaps they just have an incredibly stressful job (who doesn’t?) and don’t get paid enough (who does?) but many of them seem to…
You can tell a lot about a man by how he treats his mother….
When they were both wee nippers, one of my brothers hit the other one around the head with a toy milk float. It was probably the most dangerous use of a milk float until that episode of Father Ted where the evil milkman places a bomb on his milk float and Dougal gets stuck driving…
Piglet Vs. Literature: Part 2
Piglet seems to have developed a rather disturbing new habit. Several times this week I have caught him banging his head-apparently deliberately-on his cot or my bed. Upon consulting Dr Google about this distressing new hobby I have learned the following: Piglet has above average intelligence Head banging is totally normal Piglet must be autistic…
Positive Sleep Associations
This is my latest scintillating read. The wrinkled sheet underneath (yes that is on my bed) is basically a metaphor for Piglet’s current sleeping patterns. Well, who irons a sheet anyway? I mean, who even owns an iron? As I write, Piglet is sleeping soundly at my feet in his bouncy chair. To look at…
Piglet, Seven Weeks, Shows Obscene Lack of Interest in Becoming Serious Intellectual
Piglet is asleep and I am seizing a moment to write. He is asleep in his baby bouncer. I am not convinced that this is the best place for me to implement my new bedtime routine, but I am frankly too scared to put him in his cot in the bedroom in case Something Terrible…
Attempts to Turn Baby Into a Genius: Part One
Following reading an article on the Guardian website about babies’ intellectual development being boosted by their parents talking to them, I have just spent the last ten minutes giving Foetus a running commentary on What I’m Looking At On The Internet. This included reading some articles on things I thought he might be interested in…