Today I bought a new tin opener. For some unknown reason, neither of the two adults I spoke to today (my mother and brother. I’m not including the man in the shop where I bought the tin opener, since the conversation consisted of “that will be six pounds please” and that was it. I KNOW,…
Month: November 2014
Life: Entirely Governed by Piglet’s Naps or Lack Thereof
Piglet is currently forgoing his afternoon nap in favour of lying in the baby gym chewing his favourite hanging plastic ring. He is concentrating very hard. OK he just started screaming for no apparent reason. Just removed him from the baby gym and sat him in his bouncy chair, where he is violently shaking a…
My Thoughts on Baby Fashion, and Other Matters
Love maternity leave. So far today I have been mostly doing online quizzes (“which wife of Henry VIII are you?” I got Katherine Howard. I always get her, which I presume means I am dead and wandering around Hampton Court Palace at night, sans head). I also invented a drinking game to be played whilst…
Surrendered Mother
Piglet is sleeping blissfully in his bouncy chair following his 16 week jabs. Blissful sleeps seem to be increasingly rare these days. Most sleeps are preceded by hours of fretfulness where he screams for ages until Mummy finds the exact position which he has chosen to fall asleep in that day, and he finally conks…
Positive Sleep Associations
This is my latest scintillating read. The wrinkled sheet underneath (yes that is on my bed) is basically a metaphor for Piglet’s current sleeping patterns. Well, who irons a sheet anyway? I mean, who even owns an iron? As I write, Piglet is sleeping soundly at my feet in his bouncy chair. To look at…
The Maternal Guilt Starts Here
Well actually it started three months ago, when the wee one was born. And there is never a moment when you are truly safe. There’s always something waiting round the corner that could be going wrong. A case in point being the one illustrated below. On Friday I was happily bleating down the phone to…