Yet again it is 9.30pm on a Saturday night and I am sprawled on the sofa at home, alone, looking up Wikipedia entries on little-known European royals of the eighteenth century through my ovulatory phase rather than-as we would all doubtless be doing-having passionate baby-making sex with someone really, really hot. Desperate text messages have…
Month: January 2013
The Curse of the Missing Email
Aargh. Haven’t been able to sort out the sperm donor admin (yes, there is “admin”) as you need to print off the donor information and sign it and send it back to the clinic. God this is complicated. So as I don’t have a printer I opted to send the email order to my work…
I am having an alcoholic baby. Or not. Eighty per cent not, to be precise.
Well, yesterday was the momentous day that I finally chose my donor. I chose him on the basis that he sounded the most fun, and some of them sounded frankly a bit worthy and serious, with their Christian beliefs and all that. This bloke was an atheist. He also sounded like someone who probably enjoyed…
Physical Illnesses: 0 (v.g.): Mental illnesses: Innumerable
Well I picked up my test results from the GP today and it appears that I do not have any of the following: HIVChlamydiaHepatitis BHepatitis C Result. I felt so smug at the fact that I am officially STD-free that I actually toyed with the idea of taking a vow of chastity to preserve this…
Walking Around London Carrying a Phone
Day 1 of my period. I know, that’s officially Too Much Information, but it’s only going to get worse, I can assure you. Tried to phone the clinic today as they said to call on the first day of my period, but of course my period would be awkward and start on a Saturday, when…
And Thou Shalt See Me Weeping on the BBC
So today’s Productive Thing was that I watched a documentary about a fertility clinic on BBC i-player. Interesting, although as a connosieur of the art I would have preferred a section on IUI. All we got as far as that was concerned was a brief interview with a sperm donor. I wondered what our children…
Hair dye: hated by right wing American conservatives everywhere.
So I decided to do something productive today. In fact, I am contractually obliged; i.e. by my new year’s resolutions, that Contract of Doom I have of course made with myself yet again this year, despite the fact that the previous twenty years’ (TWENTY YEARS!!!!!! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?) vague promises to “be more positive”…
New Year New Me. As per bloody usual.
2nd January 2012 New year, new diary. This time, I will stick with it, I promise. I would have started yesterday, but I had such a raging hangover that I was unable to move from my bed, let alone focus my eyes on a bright computer screen. As a result of this, my number one…