Most people’s birth stories seem to fall into one of the following categories: 1.) URRGGHH that was HORRIBLE. 2.) UURRGGHH that was HORRIBLE. There was blood everywhere. And stitches.* And it REALLY HURT. 3.) It was amazing. I was in a birthing pool. I had the intervention-free, drugless labour I always wanted. There was whalesong….
Category: hypnobirthing
Confusion: Too many choices….
Now I appreciate that this sounds like an odd thing to say, and also as if I m moaning (again) but sitting on this sofa really isn’t the pleasant and comfortable experience that DFS intended it to be. This of course is not the fault of the sofa, which is, under normal circumstances, very comfortable…
Sudden Panic at Actual Realisation that I am about to become Really, Really Poor
AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!! This pretty much sums up how I felt when I saw how much (read: *little*) I am going to get in maternity pay. Seriously, it’s so bad I almost considered having Little One adopted. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? I am literally terrified. Why am I not married? WHY WHY WHY? OK, need…
My Wild Night of Smoking and Drinking
Apparently Katie Price is pregnant with her fifth child. Now despite my concern at the alarming prospect that the world may be being single-handedly repopulated by Katie Price (possibly with help from Kerry Katona), there is some grounds for hope here. After all, Katie Price is older than me. And at my age, anyone older…
The Many Manifestations of Breathing
First hypnobirthing session today. This turned out not to be the hideous middle class smug married experience I had been expecting, for the simple reason that I was the only person on the course. So no cheating with the breathing exercises then and slacking off half way through to scratch the many inevitable itches that…
When does the nesting instinct kick in?
Yet again I am engaged in the deadly habit of procrastination. Why is it that every time the holidays roll around I fool myself into thinking that if I do one productive thing per day-just one-then the entire day has been a success? Today’s “productive task” consisted of emailing some photos that I had promised…
Almost 23 weeks and apparently still irresistible to malingerers outside Wembley Park tube
The hypnobirthing craze continues. I have just purchased a set of five hypnobirthing classes. They are in Hounslow, which is not the best location, but pretty much all the classes I could find were based in the so-called “Nappy Valley” area of South West London which stretches roughly from Herne Hill to somewhere just short…
Hypnobirthing a Giant Baby
I have just officially become a New Age Hippy Earth Mother Type. Well, perhaps not quite. I bought two books on hypnobirthing today, then decided I was going to get properly into it and try all the suggested “exercises,” unlike with the normal self-help, self-improvement tomes which I just read, nod head occasionally whilst maintaining…