It sounds like something out of the Smash Hits Poll Winners Party circa 1993, but it’s official, I have the best dressed baby in Wembley. Winner of the Elle Style Awards, Special Commendation from Anna Wintour, Vogue Baby of the Year. Move over Blue Ivy, Prince George and North West. Yes, the play worker at…
Category: breastfeeding
Expressing Milk Attempt no. 1: Abject Failure
11pm and Piglet is lying in his co-sleeper, shouting. God knows what the neighbours must think. Frankly I’m amazed I haven’t had a note through the door telling me to keep the noise down, and while we’re at it, social services have been called. In fact, everybody in my building must see a good deal…
The Kindness of Strangers.
Why is it that every time I go out, no matter how many times I have fed Piglet (and no matter how many times he has tried to escape from the Hide-the-Boob Tent), and even if I have fed him immediately before leaving wherever I am, by the time he gets on the train home…
Subsistence Parenting
Yes I admit it. Guilty as charged. Yes I did put the baby in the car seat to sleep while I had my lunch. And we weren’t in a car. And (voice drops to a barely audible whisper) I didn’t even fasten the straps. Surely God will strike me down with a lightning bolt. Or…
He’s Wailing, He’s Wailing Again…
Well, he is here. And you know who I mean by “He.” The promised messiah. In fact, it’s not far off. I have started singing Away in a Manger to him at night and switching the name “Jesus” for His name. To all extents and purposes, he will henceforth be known as Piglet, the moniker…
Suddenly inhabiting weird parallel universe consisting entirely of Bugaboo Bees
Well the World Cup has now started and I missed my first England World Cup game since about 1982 simply because I was too tired to stay up and watch it. Now watching France vs Honduras and although it’s only 9pm and I had a nap earlier I am already yawning profusely. Ooh France have…
Alcohol: Taunting Me With Its Presence
Currently lying on the sofa recovering from a very strenuous weekend. I stayed up until 1am on Friday (1am!), then had my baby shower yesterday and finally topped it all off with a breastfeeding class today. Luckily we didn’t have to get our boobs out at the latter (or the former, both of which would…
Newsflash: Women’s Breasts Apparently Not Designed For Men
Hallelujah! Apparently the baby is “probably head down, although the head hasn’t dropped into the pelvis yet.” Presumably this means he’s already starting to gear up for birth. Obviously do not want baby to be born immediately, but at least he isn’t in a weird position. At least not at the moment (probably shouldn’t speak…