The Lonely Life of a Blogger

Alone she sits, in her immaculate office, the bright sunlight reflecting off the glossy white surfaces. She is a professional writer, tapping out little snippets of wisdom to share with a waiting world. Her home is her office, and she has become used to switching off all distractions and retreating into her own world, the world of her work. Around her are the tools of her trade; laptop, coffee cup and blogging planner, all perfectly colour-co-ordinated. The words fly off the page, as she deftly checks her social media accounts with a side-eye to her phone. That’ll be perfect for Pinterest, she thinks, as with her little finger she puts the finishing touches to the photo editing of the crafts she did today with her toddler, which he participated in wholeheartedly, letting out little squeals of delight as his attentive mother taught him how to make a selection of cupcakes shaped and iced to look like his favourite vehicles used by the emergency services, keeping his apron on throughout so that he didn’t get a speck of icing sugar on his 1930s hipster-chic peaked cap, shirt and braces, and remembering not to lick the bowl as snacks on Fridays are limited to acai berries and frozen yoghurt with no artificial sweeteners or preservatives.

Well, whoever that first paragraph might be about, it certainly isn’t me.

I have a confession to make. It’s 10.30pm, and I am sat in bed in my pyjamas, with my laptop on my knees, slumped over the curled up figure of my son, who is breastfeeding back to sleep after waking up multiple times with a hacking cough.

This week has been a good week for blogging. I have only fallen asleep without responding to comments or joining up with any linkies twice, and Mumsnet has only ignored one of my tweets, but I still feel like I should be doing more. Why have I not yet figured out Pinterest? How does it work? What’s with putting bits of text on photos? Why is that good? Why have I not been featured on the Huffington Post yet? WHY WHY WHY?

It is currently the Easter holidays, so I am off work and had been hoping to dedicate some more time to blogging. Aha, so this is how the stay-at-home mothers roll, I think to myself as I put CBeebies on for the umpteenth time that day, sneakily open up the laptop while my son is engrossed in Peter Rabbit and hope that he doesn’t chew the cable or take me out with a carefully aimed Chuggington-shaped missile while I’m not paying attention.

I end up feeling like a terrible mother, tweeting furiously whenever I can while he sits on my lap and listens grudgingly to me singing the Mr Tumble song again, even though I have just told him in no uncertain terms how much I hate Mr Tumble and how I thought children didn’t like clowns these days and why are we watching this rubbish anyway.

In term time, it feels as though all the space in my head is taken up with work, and I sit on the train on the way home trying desperately to think of ideas for blog posts, and all I can ever come up with is “why I am rubbish at blogging,” closely followed by “if I didn’t work full time I would…” followed by a list of things I would almost certainly still never do, like figure out how Pinterest works.

I like to think that my blogging is the modern-day equivalent of the Bronte sisters holed up in the parsonage at Howarth, writing masterpieces of literature in tiny writing by candlelight long after the Reverend Bronte had gone to bed and Branwell was off out drinking and carousing. She sits in the bedroom she used to share with her brother in 1985, long after her mother has gone to bed and her brother is off out drinking and carousing, tapping away at the keyboard while her son sleeps next to her and she hopes that the backlight from the computer isn’t doing him some irreparable damage, sure in the knowledge that all she has now is her one, lonely blog and her long shot at literary fame and glory, for surely she will never find a husband now….

But I am probably not quite up to that standard yet. Got to keep trying though, and hoping that backlight isn’t keeping the little one awake, and that I won’t be dead from exhaustion by the end of the week.

A version of this post first appeared on the blog Sons, Sand and Sauvignon

8 Comments Add yours

  1. Tori says:

    I can completely relate to this! Blogging ain’t as easy as writing out some posts a couple times a week. It takes a lot of dedication and I always wonder, is it worth it- the time taken away from my kids? It can be hard to manage our time wisely. Thanks for this ?

    1. Min says:

      Yes, that’s the thing isn’t it. Sometimes I feel as though I’m neglecting Piglet in the time I do have with him, and just need to switch off!

  2. It’s a tough balance trying to fit in the world of blogging (outside post writing) with life. I certainly haven’t figured it out – I am very NOT all over everything. This has meant that I often feel my blog is very behind others in terms of the length I’ve been going vs success/profile (whatever that looks like) compared to people who have been going for mere months. I imagine they sleep less. But beyond that I wonder what I’m doing wrong.

    1. Min says:

      I feel exactly the same way as mine has also been going a while, and although I didn’t go public until last summer, I had a blog before that for four years and managed to sustain all those years blogging without even knowing what a linky was, let alone anything else! And all these people seem to pop up out of nowhere and already know what they should be doing! Anyway, you are successful, and hopefully I will be one day!

  3. Emma says:

    I can really relate to this and I’ve not even been blogging long. And I’m so glad I’m not the only one frantically trying to write posts on the train to and from work.

    1. Min says:

      Haha, I thought I had nailed it, writing posts in any snatched moment, but writing on the phone is HARD. The screen just isn’t big enough and it’s too easy to make a mistake!

  4. Alina says:

    Yes, that is me, minus the work as I am still on maternity. I still haven’t figured out hot to proper blog. To be honest I just write and publish. The admin part is just alien to me so I definitely need someone to do this for me.
    I write with my baby in my arms while she sleeps or while she is in the bouncer concentrated on her toys and sometimes while she watches Sidney Sailboat on Tiny Pop

    1. Min says:

      I just write and publish too. To me that’s what blogging is all about-forget all the scheduling and promoting. That’s just an added extra.

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