I am eternally grateful to fellow blogger Mum Turned Mom for inspiring me to write something.
As it is new year, obviously I have a few *unofficial* resolutions (I gave up the official kind after failing to fulfil the “get a boyfriend” one that was a staple feature for about 15 years running), none of which I have bothered writing down or sharing as most of them were broken by the time dawn broke on 1st January, sometime after discovering that “don’t eat anything unhealthy” was not a realistic aspiration for someone who still had half a Terry’s chocolate orange in the fridge and quite a bit of wine that it would have been frankly rude not to drink.
However, one of my vague resolutions, which barely even counts as a new year thing, since I have been trying, and mostly failing, to do it for a while now, is to do some work on my blog every day. And so I found myself today, with no clue about what to write.
Hence the Prompt, which has forced me to think of something. So, since the theme is new (for new year, innit) and I have not shared my new year’s resolutions, new year’s plans, or anything vaguely new year related, I thought I would look at my very first post on this blog, which happened to coincide with New Year, and see how much life has changed in the past three (THREE! Most blogs are dead by that age, right?) years. If you do have the misfortune to read it, in all its completely confusing glory, please be aware that the reason it is set out like a weird diary from the 1800s is because of an unfortunate technical malfunction (THANKS GOOGLE), which involved the original post being deleted as spam (HOW VERY DARE THEY. That pestilence of lettuce I threatened to send upon their heads never materialised though). Anyway, main points are summarised below, for your delectation and delight.
1.) I have referred to the year as 2012. Not clear if this is a mistake, as mere seconds later it appears to be 2013.
2.) I woke up that New Year’s Day with a hangover. Now that is one thing I can categorically say I DO NOT MISS. I actually sometimes feel secretly smug about the sheer number of years for which I have not suffered from The Fear (nearly two and a half! I am practically the Dalai Lama).
3.) One of my New Year’s resolutions was not to scare-monger on the internet by googling symptoms and deciding I have some scary disease from which I am probably about to die. I have since discovered that sometimes you actually do have the scary disease. Dr Google isn’t such a quack after all.
4.) “Induction” was something you did at the gym. These days, I don’t even know where the gym is.
5.) I was worried about breasticle saggage caused by over-enthusiastic treadmill running. TREADMILL RUNNING. Did the pair of them not realise that they are not for the benefit of men? Nowadays, they can even squirt milk like the Virgin Mary in a Renaissance painting.
6.) Apparently, I spent my spare time reading biographies of deceased rappers on Wikipedia. What was this hedonistic folly upon which I spent my soon to be non-existent leisure time? Then again, you never know when there might be a question about the life and career of Tupac’s mum on University Challenge, for which I am well prepared.
7.) I used to watch online make up tutorials. FREE TIME, MUCH?
8.) Even back then in those carefree heady days of 2013 I was worried about my increasing stock of grey hairs. Except that back then I actually had the time to dye them, free from worry that a little person might come in and start drinking hair dye straight from the bottle, as you do. I mean, one cannot be too careful with the use of dangerous chemicals around the house.
9.) I swore I was becoming a wholesome lady rambler and noble teetotaller.
10.) I was almost right.