Recently it has come to my attention that there are blogging awards doing the rounds. I know, I know. Pipe down at the back there. What do you mean I RIPPED THIS POST OFF EVERY OTHER BLOGGER EVER?
I have my own opinions, you know.
And here they are.
These ladies (and they are all ladies. Sorry gents, none of you made the cut) are brilliant, and frankly, I can’t understand why they haven’t already won all the blogging awards. So in the spirit of blogging awards, here are my own nominations, for when I become part of the Academy: the blogging version. Because that is clearly in my destiny, right?
1.) Friendliest Blogger/Biggest Champion of Other Bloggers: Mum Muddling Through
Probably the first reader of my blog not to be a member of my immediate family, I had been blogging for years before Single Mum Speaks went public (before that it was a private blog for two and a half years), and although I had had a self-hosted blog for some years before that, one where I mostly just bleated on about my tragic but eventful love life in the years when I actually had one, MMT was probably the first person other than my close friends to read and enjoy my current ramblings, and for that I will be forever grateful. Weirdly, I also consider her a friend, even though we have never met and I have very little idea what she actually looks like, but then I have also never met the biological father of my own child. BRAP to the Internets. What would we do without them?
2.) Best Poetry since Please Mrs Butler: Rhyming with Wine
If you are an aficionado of humorous poetry, which I am not, then you will know of Janet and Allan Ahlberg. I used to read Please Mrs Butler in the 1980s and laugh out loud at the likes of The Headmaster’s Hymn, set to the tune of When A Knight Won His Spurs (WHERE has that hymn gone? I haven’t heard it since 1988) and the legendary Dog in the Playground (why does this never happen nowadays? I blame those ID cards on lanyards that everyone wears nowadays. You didn’t get those bad boys in the 80s). Anyway, enough about Janet and Allan, they may have produced the greatest collection of laugh out loud poetry anywhere in the Usborne back catalogue, but Rhyming with Wine has the grown up version down to a fine art. Trust me, Lord Byron had nothing on this woman. Apparently *whispers* he wasn’t even hot. RWW is a legend amongst wordsmiths, and deserves all the accolades going.
3.) Best Successor to the Brothers Grimm: Agent Spitback
Now if anyone should be rewriting fairytales for the 21st century (which, let’s face it, is a task long overdue), it’s Agent Spitback. Many bloggers picked up their metaphorical pens in disgust when a rumour did the social media rounds about a mother two weeks into the job who made the grave error of shouting the odds into cyberspace about how motherhood isn’t that difficult and we should all have clean houses, but only the legendary Spitback could have woven the tale into that of a latter day Evil Stepmother poisoning the postnatal with apples of doom.
4.) The Duchess of Blogging: A Right Royal Mother
Now, I basically hate the Duchess of Cambridge. I hate her early 90s newscaster blow-dry, I hate her press-endorsed two hour labour, and I hate that ridiculous 60s air stewardess hat she wore on the Royal Barge that time in 2012. What I do not hate, however, is the way that A Right Royal Mother shows up the farce that is obsequiousness and a doffing the cap mentality on the part of the nation’s tabloids to a frankly very normal family, a family just like that of A Right Royal Mother, in fact, but without the palaces, media scrum and history of chopping off the heads of those who deign to disagree.
5.) The Not a Dry Eye in the House Award: Five Little Doves
I have observed with interest what seems to me to be the inexorable rise of Five Little Doves. Every time I manage to stay awake long enough to join up with a linky, there she is, with a brand new post every time, and every time it is something heartfelt and beautifully written. She has written about some difficult and personal topics with bravery and insight, and basically just seems like a really fab mum!
6.) The Fearless Female Award: The Single Swan
Another blogger who writes from the heart, The Single Swan has found herself as a single mother in very different circumstances to my own, and writes about them candidly and articulately. Like the others on this list, her intelligence cuts through every post, and I admire her for trusting her instincts and going after what makes her happy.
And now, like Gwyneth Paltrow at the 1999 Oscars, I am so full of love and admiration for my fellow bloggers that I have had to put on a pink meringue ballgown and cry copious tears of emotion.
Which is exactly what I will be doing (and you have my word here peeps, this is my literal PROMISE to you) if I was to win a blogging award myself.
I KNOW, I KNOW. I’m like, totally out of my comfort zone here. Throw me a rubber ring, won’t you? I’m out in the proverbial blogging ocean of voices pleading “VOTE FOR ME, VOTE FOR ME,” and I’m flailing. You see, I haven’t had to do this before. I haven’t had to put myself out there and ask people to vote for me, at least not since the 1997 general election when we all got up on the stage at school and sang 1996 football classic Three Lions with reworked lyrics about the EU in a bid to convince our fellow students to vote for me, or rather for me representing hideous, long-forgotten proto-UKIP hooray henrys the Referendum Party.*
Anyway, I digress. basically what I am saying is that if you are not put off by my dodgy history as a pretend Tory Euro-sceptic from the 90s, please vote for me in one or all of the following categories:
1.) Writer
I know this is the award everyone wants, but I like to think I’m OK at writing. I know the difference between your and you’re, if anyone’s noticing.
2.) Family
I feel a bit of a fraud for this one. I guess we’d be termed an “alternative family,” and not in the sense of having green hair and living on a barge wearing tie-dye and growing your own quinoa. I write about my son, and my mum. Hopefully they won’t hold it against me.
3.) Reader’s choice
Apparently this is for blogs who “defy categorisation.” I mean, I wrote a love story about the Pontipines.
So yeah, vote for me peeps. I will cry like Gwyneth. And I won’t get up on stage and sing a reworked version of Three Lions with lyrics changed to reflect the subject matter of my blog, I will promise you that.
*Please don’t take this as a reflection of my actual political beliefs, either now or in 1997. I saw an excuse to dress up in a ludicrous costume, and I took it. That was just the way I rolled. Let’s all be thankful that I didn’t win, and Europe has not yet disintegrated into bloody civil war.
I am literally doing a happy dance (and I haven’t even got out of bed yet??) Thank you so much and I couldn’t agree more with your nominations. All fabulous bloggers and I couldn’t be more thrilled to be up there with them.
Thanks for making my Monday morning lovely xx
You’re welcome! Very well deserved. xxxx
Bloggy BFFs! I do of course look like Charlize Theron…but looks aren’t everything 😉
Thank you so much for the really, really lovely words. Means a hell of a lot.
The award for the best use of Grammar definitely goes to ‘Single Mum Speaks’. Amongst many other categories, of course… xx
You’re welcome! I really wish there was a category for best grammarian. I would be going hell for leather to get that one. I would be literally stealing that award off the stage! That’s if I wasn’t out of the running for over-zealous use of exclamation marks in the comments, or starting too many sentences with “and.”
Oh gosh that actually made me tear up a little!! Thank you so much, I still can’t believe that anyone takes the time to read what I have to say, let alone enjoys it. In a week when I’ve felt like the worlds worst mum, your comments are much appreciated. Thank you so, so much. Xxx
You’re very welcome! Love your blog. x
Aw, Min, thank you so much. I am so so so touched. It’s always so wonderful to know that someone other than my mum, reads my nonsense and likes it. I have not really paid attention to the awards as I am not eligible (unless someone adopts me? LOL) and until recently, not aware that I could nominate. I am going to have a proper look sometime and see and you know what, you’re on the Spitback Award List anyway, have been for a long time. Something’s has just happened to me recently and you had written a post about it a couple of months back and when it happened, your voice popped into my head. (Okay, I imagined your voice). That’s how much of an impact your blog voice has on me!
Ooh thank you! I’m glad something I said had resonated. I know what you mean, sometimes it feels as though only our mums are actually reading-and my mum doesn’t even like my blog! Your writing is fab. Such a shame you’re not eligible, as you would be a deserving winner (I voted for you anyway, may as well make my point even if it doesn’t count!)
I wish you luck! This is so hard …. So many good blogs to vote for and only one vote for each of category …!
I know, it’s so difficult!
Great choices!! I totally agree! You have my vote-I love your blog!! Although I have to say I’m enjoying the buzz around the awards stuff, but it’s just brought home to me more than ever exactly how much of a teeny, tiny fish I am, in a huge ocean…! And also (*apologises profusely*) I’m rather a fan of K-Middy…!
Thanks so much for sharing with #bigpinklink!
Haha, I don’t mind her really. I just find her a bit dull-or at least her public persona is. Thank you for commenting. I feel the same way about the blogging awards-it’s terrifying how much competition there is, and seems to be growing all the time. I’ve actually been blogging on and off for 8 years (although not all on the same blog) so I find it quite frustrating when people suddenly pop up out of nowhere and seem to have loads of success. Oh well, got to keep trying!
Re-visiting from #bigpinklink and still over the moon that you included me in this!! xxx
My pleasure! Thanks for commenting again!
I love your list of blogging awards and your chosen blogs would all be thoroughly deserving. Wishing you all the best of luck in the blogging awards too! 🙂
Thank you! Much appreciated.
I love your blog – I think it’s fantastically written. I’ll give you a vote. Sarah
Thank you! xx
I love your list of blogs. I found 5little doves one day and sat and cried to her letter to Joseph, then just sat and read everything I could. Good luck with the awards.
Thank you!
Good luck with the awards and great nominations. Thanks for linking up to #TheList x
Thank you! Best of luck to you too.
OMG, I have just realised that I didn’t leave a comment on this post. Thank you so much. I am genuinely very flattered and you know that you will always get my vote in #BiBs2016. Good luck. Pen x
No worries-you didn’t have to! Thank you and good luck!
Some great bloggers on here. My personal fave is Agent Spitback, her blog is a different level for sure. She’s just fab #thebabyformula
She’s amazing, isn’t she? So unique and original. Thanks for commenting.
I agree with all your choices! All really fab blogs and definitely up there in my nomination list.
Thanks for sharing with #TheBabyFormula
Thanks for hosting and commenting!
Good luck and I love your nominations. One blogger I hadn’t heard of but I will be checking them out! There should be a grammar award right?!
Haha, definitely! Best of luck to you as well.
I read this post a while back when I was in my first few weeks of blogging and now re-visiting it I couldn’t agree more! #triballove #bigpinklink
Thanks! They are all fab, aren’t they? Only thing was, if I went back to it now I would make sure I put some of the #tribe in there!